**hugz** first and foremost. I've been there too, virtually every Monday morning of my adult life! If I could go back to the 20 year old me and say "you're fine the way you are" i think a lot of this mess could have been avoided!
The difference in my success this time is that it's a LOT of weight, and it wasn't as horrible as I thought. I did seek some professional therapy because there was something more wrong than just "letting myself go" a bit! I didn't think therapy could apply to me because I'd suffered no trauma or horrible childhood or anything bad at all really! turns out a spoiled screaming brat tucked away in the back of my head has a lot to answer for ha!
I guess I look at my other diet attempts like trying to mop up the floor after the sink has overflowed - but without turning off the faucet! You get most of the water but it never stops, never relents, and will always come back no matter what you do. I was sick of gaining it back over and over and over.
Part of me feels a bit of a fraud, because SO MANY people on here go completely whole hog, revamp every single thing they eat, swap out burgers and ribs for tofu and mashed sweetpotato LOL but I couldn't live like that. I just ate LESS, moved a bit MORE, wrote everything down and counted up the calories. It doesn't take long to figure out the McDonald's "costs" more calorie wise than I was willing to give so I made a few simple changes, stuck to them, repeated them, added a few more and never looked back!
If there's any way you can talk to someone about your struggles, I really recommend it. It's not that shocking or intense, but more like a "oh riiiiiiight...." almost like a lightbulb coming on that you've been avoiding for so long, it's quite liberating!
ps i still hate sweating