I had a recurring dream about my Dad trying to molest me but I was preparing to do bodily harm to him if he tried! I actually have been abused before by a older man and my Dad tried to molest me.

FoodObsessed, I hate to hear that. I hope you've gotten some help. It's funny how the mind works in terms of dreams. Nice to meet you.

My week off officially started today. I had breakfast with a friend this morning and did a little shopping. I made some chili when I got home and then took a nap. It was nice. All I've done tonight is watch tv. Not to sound corny but I feel so lucky in my life right now. I am so happy I have this new job and that I am making more money. I'm just in a place of gratitude. I don't even care that I'm tired. When I think about it it's about the first time since 2003 that I'll really be able to contribute to the household bills. If I wasn't in debt it would be more. Fortunately I can start paying that down now.

Having said that if I don't get my eating back under control I'm sure my good feelings will fade quickly. My goal is work out every day this week while I'm off (starting tomorrow ). Today was a bust to say the least. I also need to tackle the house. Wish me luck.

Hi Foodobsessed, that is a scary dream to have..nice to meet you

Hope, wishing you luck on a balance of enjoying your time off, with doing the things you want to do. Really great about your job!

I weighed last week and adjusted my ticker I was up almost five pounds. And I changed my goal weight to be 145. No wonder with the 'don't care' choices I've been eating lately. I was always aiming for 150 because then I wouldn't be considered 'overweight' by health standards. But i don't feel totally trim at 150 and sure as heck don't at 155.

Food - I hope you alerted the authorities when that happened.

Hi everyone... I don't have much time, something about going out of town makes the work pile up. The rest of the trip was pretty good but just too long. Got home to horribly cold weather, holy crud I am freezing! A few days ago I was sitting on a patio drinking lemonaid and eating a shrimp and avacado salad.

Power didn't get cut off since I got paid on that Friday and hubby was able to arrange a payment. My moods have been so up and down since I've been home. We get almost no day light this time of year and my light still isn't working. Hubby is selling "his" pool table to pay off some bills.... Part of me wants to point out that it isn't just "his" but OURS. I've kept quiet since I almost never use it.

Came home to a funeral... one of my husbands pool teammates had cancer and he finally passed away. Got another one next weekend... my neighbors daughter took her own life. My parents have known this family for almost 40 years so they were very upset to hear. I feel sorry for her kids, daughter is almost 30 and the boy is a bit younger... but what a horrible way to loose your Mom. Makes you think.

Vermont - We've been through that and it hurts doesn't it. Phooy... spit on them!

Bud - Sorry to make you worry.

oh gosh I missed alot of posts.

Momof4 - you did absolutely right, I think, when you corrected the boy about 'that word'. Sure he didn't know what it meant, but he is old enough to learn it is a NO NO word!! you did right

hi lillydi, nice to meet you

buddly, you are brave for liking the sun shining on the snow glad you got your snow tires on!!

Aunty Jam - so sorry to hear of those untimely passings! and boo to DH saying 'his' pool table. That's just my female part taking your side

Ravengirl - well I can't fathom it but I am glad you are in 'your element' with the cooler (cold!) season. That is amazing about the 1800 yr old tree!!!

Yeah..my motorcycle insurance policy just covered, for medical coverage for me, one...thousand...dollars....such a miniscule amount!! Now that is not what the coverage would be if I injured someone else and was liable..those coverages are like $300,000. And since we don't have our own medical insurance like Blue Cross/Blue Shield, we have to pay for it all. Oh well, like I said I am making payments for them all but it is the one hospital that is being crummy to me.

I actually got up out of bed today at 6:15. I've been only able to get up so late for the past few weeks. So this was good. And today while driving to work I was able to look ahead to tomorrow and think of what I was going to do on my day off. Haven't been able to do that for a while too.

Good morning and just had to tell you all, that I am having 2 good days in a row It is SO GREAT to be able to look forward to the next day, or even be able to think about it, without being apathetic. I've been that way (apathetic) for weeks and it sucked. So totally uncaring that while driving, I couldn't have cared if I drifted into the path of a truck. Thought about asking my boys 'you guys would be fine if I wasn't around, wouldnt you?' but there is no way one could ask that of your kids and not upset them.

BUT for whatever reasons I feel good again today. I have been working out every day (except for 2 days) for at least 3 weeks; using my Happy Light every morning.

Just had to let you all know, hang in there at least one more day, because tomorrow you might feel better!!!!

Hi everyone

Vermont that is wonderful you are feeling better. I am so happy for you.

aunty jam I am so sorry about your losses. And yes those poor kids, losing your mom at any age is tough. And I am glad to hear you are still fighting along.

Hope enjoy your time off.

I'm not doing so great here. We are still in the cold snap, actually I think we are suppose to be on a warming trend so that will be nice. Took DdC to the neurologist this morning and he wants her to have a sleep deprived EEG and an MRI. He says he has a good suspicion of what may be wrong, but he wants a few more tests done and he's talking medication. In the meantime he doesn't want her driving, or near high edges or sharp things and he wants her supervised if she has a bath etc. She is not a happy camper. She finally got driving lessons and was doing great and was really looking forward to getting her license and driving on her own.

But my major problem is that on Sat night I got the solid proof I've been sort of looking for that my husband of 24 yrs has been.......the nice term....having a long term affair. (that is not what I've been calling it) The betrayals that I'm finding.... well I'm raw and not just a little bitter. I haven't confronted him yet (as hard as its been, I want to hurt him so bad) I have a counselor's appt on tues so I'm biding my time. Its so hard to pretend to believe all the lies. I know I've been doing it for at least three yrs, where this is concerned. But now that its positive and not just suspicion its so hard. And when I think of all the times I've put off buying things for the girls and groceries and such and making less than minimum payments on cards and now my credit rating is in the trash (the credit cards he uses are in my name and he likes to use them) and to find out he's been putting money in her bank acct and giving her who knows how much as he makes an awful lot of cash withdrawls. And I've been worrying about him running short of cash on the road etc, so much so I've been covering our van payment, life insurance and house insurance on my meager income. (I work 6-15 hrs a week and I've been off for two weeks now) I am just so sick. And she is such a skank. she has phoned here before leaving very drunk, vulgar messages on our machine, he explained her as being a buddy's girlfriend. He befreinded her on facebook so my girls got to see her profile and how her interest was her work and her lover (followed by my husband's name) so my girls know whats up. I've known this guy since he was 12, we started dating at 17, married at 20 and now I don't know him at all. I had suspicions, but deep down I honestly couldn't believe he would ever do such a thing. And now I am so shattered as are the girls. They know what will be happening next, they just don't know when. Thankfully he goes away for a few days at a time, its easier to be civil and pretend everything is fine for short phone calls. I just can't believe that he would throw everything away for something like that. I saw some pictures her daughter posted, my gosh a classy bunch. His parents will actually die if they ever met her. (they are very devote Christians) and they had problems accepting me because my parents were divorced and my mom was raised as a Jehovah Witness. What would they do if they saw the pictures of this thing passed out on the beach with beer cans under her towel and her daughters dressed up like street walkers and vandalising property (all in the pictures) That's the family he thinks is worth risking a 20+yr marriage and the respect of his daughters and the rest of our families? I am just sick.
Sorry for the long winded novel. It is almost 6am and I haven't slept yet.

Take care,
K

Buddly - there isn't an emoticon here strong enough to show my shock and horror at what you discovered...I can't even imagine how horrible and angry and betrayed and %$&*#@$ you must feel. Please know we are behind you

Thank you Vermont, I needed that.

buddly...

You actually sound ok, I don't think I would be able to put up with him without total losing it. How dare she post it on facebook for other people to see?! I would get him off you credit cards as soon as possible.

Oh Buddly, I've just been sitting here say 'Oh my Gosh' and shaking my head. I'm so shocked and upset for you. I had no idea you even suspected such a thing. Like Vermont said, we are 100% behind you no matter what. No matter what.

And prayers go out for your DdC.

Thank you so much for your support, you guys are the best

but I just couldn't help myself and I just sent him a text informing him he has to drop the skank immedietly and stop giving her any more money or else he will have the honour of spending christmas with her and her family. I am shaking but I sort of figure its over anyway, what do I have to lose. I wanted to wait tho, but I just couldn't.
K

buddly...!!! good for you. I realize you wanted to wait but holy heck how could you not. Does she have anything of yours, in her possession? I'm vindictive enough that I would report it (possesions, money, clothes, use of car?) stolen. There's just such a sense of such righteous anger that I would want others to witness. I know a woman whose husband was cheating; she found out he supplied the other woman with an apartment and car, and the wife had a good friend who was a State Police officer; the cop went to the apartment and ordered her out of the apartment and put her on the sidewalk. On the grounds that it was joint property of the wife, and the wife said 'she does not have permission'. Very harsh but hey...you play with fire, you do the wrong thing, you should pay.

a billion to you , dear!!!

OH WOW WOW WOW....buddly....I have to say your strong not to say anything once your confirmed it..I am with vermont I would be doing everything and anything to make her life and his horrible...
I am so sorry your having to deal with this around this time of year!! If you need anything we are all here...prank phone calls...facebook harrassment...LOL Whatever you need!!!

Things are going ok this way...Very heavy hearted this week. A 17year old girl in one of our high schools killed herself sunday. Being a youth pastor I have to pick up the pieces of the friends that knew her. It breaks my heart and brings me to tears to think that any on feels so down that they think that is their only way out. There are so many people that love them yet they dont see it all they see is their storm and the pain...She was a great singer, wrote her own music, played the guitar...there was a plan and a purpose for her...yet she left to early...
well thats bout it!!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

FUNNY THANKSGIVING STORY For you guys!!

So this morning it has been raining like crazy sooo I look and the drain across the street is clogged from tons of leaves. I am like well I will go unclog it since it was flooding the WHOLE street. I go over and start to get leaves moving. Well you know in those movies where people go thru puddles and the water hits the person on the street like a tidal wave. Yep one car flew through (suppose to be 25 mph) and completely soaked me (I was in a tshirt and shorts of course!!!) The rest of the cars slowed and went into the other lane...not the other one...sigh. I am finally warming up but waiting for my husband to get back so I can go shower! Kids are just running like crazy..lol

Have a great day!!