Hi girls!!! I totally agree with the three day work weeks and four day weekends idea. It has been a very relaxing weekend and I am only slightly not looking forward to tomorrow. Mainly, I'm looking forward to tomorrow because my sister is having her baby tomorrow. She already asked me to be the new baby's godmother and I am so excited for tomorrow. Unfortunately, she lives in Oklahoma so I won't be able to see the baby in person until November But my mom is out there with my sister and other nephew and she's under strict orders to call me tomorrow while I'm at school with the news. My sister won't tell us the name because she wants us all to be surprised on one thing since we already know it's going to be another boy, so I'm most excited for that news. I'm totally doing a no no tomorrow and having my cell phone with me at work. We tell the kids all the time that they can't have their phones on them, but I don't care. LOL

I went back to the gym this morning and worked out for 90 minutes. I did an hour on the treadmill doing a brisk walk and some 5 minute jogging bursts here and there and then 30 minutes on the elliptical. I have to run to the supermarket in a little bit in order to stock up for lunches this week since we are out of fruit, but I'm being lazy! haha

Bex - I'm so sorry that you're hurting from the effects of the earthquake. It's only natural to need to turn to something for some relief and food is always around. Keep your head up and be strong. We're here if you need to get emotions out. Turn to us if you need us.

BL - Sorry you have to work today

Rissa - OMG......I went to the Lulu Outlet in NY this summer and it was seriously the most amazing thing I had ever seen!! Tank tops for $19!!!! It was awesome too because there were so many choices in the 10-14 range that sometimes aren't available in the stores. It was kind of like a little Disney World experience. LOL My friend from Canada is already planning a summer trip next year so we can drive the 5 hours from Boston to go! haha

Casey - Hopefully your stomach settles down soon. Upset stomachs are definitely the worst!

Risssa I think I might have been a bit hasty with the jean decision. One pair is definitely too big but I had to wear some last night to go to the supermarket to get some lunch and one I can still wear - though I do have to pull them up and they definitely are looser! Yay for your planned rewards as well! They sound good! I need to plan some rewards. I just got to the same weight as my mum which is something I've been aiming for for a while. Getting to the same weight as my boyfriend..well..that is still a long way off since he weighs 12 kilograms/26pounds less than me! Eeep. Scary thought.

casey Shisha is also know as hookah... it's flavoured tobacco that you smoke through a hookah/shisha pipe - it bubbles through water so the smoke itself is kind of more like a cool vapour. You can get amazing flavours and the good thing is that it doesn't smell gross like cigarette smoke and doesn't make your hair and clothes smell. It still has nicotine and stuff in it, but I like to kid myself it's not as bad because it doesn't have all the same added chemicals. My boyfriend collects the pipes and we smoke occasionally - favourite flavour has to be double apple which is kind of aniseedy/licoricy/apply goodness. Cherry is also pretty good! My work week is pretty good but since I haven't been motivated to get into my painting studio in months, I must say I'm pretty lazy on my days off - I do my exercise, but then I spend a lot of time catching up on shows I like to watch and basically doing nothing. I think my depression must still exist in some ways because I feel so tired anyway, I feel like I need those days to recover. Seems a bit ridiculous.

Chele Congrats on your about-to-be godmotherness! I hope it all goes well for your sister! How exciting! I am TERRIBLE with kids - I told my sister (who is not planning on having kids for at least a year or so) she better start looking for babysitters now because I don't want to do it. Children terrify me. No joke. Babies especially. Basically if they're under 15, I'm terrified, and between 15-18 I'm also terrified, but more because I feel like they're judging me. Oh man. Haha. Probably because I look about 17 anyway, so I feel like they think I am one of them. Obviously I have some issues.

I ate dinner pretty late last night, which I was not that happy about, but I didn't have much of an option - I got home from work and exercised for 46 minutes on the Wii Fit, by which time it was 7.10pm and no one else was there yet - so I showered and then my boyfriend's dad was home with ... RACK OF LAMB. I thought it a bit crazy that it was about 7.30pm and he was just about to start cooking lamb haha. But I didn't have any other option so I waited for that to be done. I ate all the veges first, then some meat, and then a little rice last - I try to avoid eating heaps of carbs too late at night - it was after 8pm when we ate.
Went to the supermarket and resorted to a frozen meal for lunch today because I didn't want to buy salad ingredients and then leave them in the boyfriend's fridge until work on Friday, and I know my parents have all that stuff at home. Plus I'm low on money until payday. So frozen meal it is. I also found these AWESOME fruit and oat cup things by Dole. Apple/cinnamon with oats. SO good. I ate one for breakfast this morning but I think they're more suited to a dessert because it tasted kind of like an apple crumble dessert!

Also I'm really excited to FINALLY be at 78 kg/171.9pounds after being between 78.5-79/173-174pounds for nearly the past 2 weeks. I try not to place too much emphasis on the scale..but sometimes I just like to see it moving. It's a good thing. Now I weigh the same as my mum (who lost 10kg/22pounds since the end of April) and I am looking to pass her soon! Need to pass my Dad haha, he weighs less than both of us!

Leftover pork from the weekend for dinner tonight, and my mum is making a lebanese bean dish - but I'll have to supervise as she is known to use too much oil in that dish. DAMN the Lebanese and their obsession with olive oil - I'm half Lebanese so I can say that :P
Wish I wasn't at work today, woke up this morning after dreaming about smoking weed, which was really bizarre, and felt really down. Doesn't help that the weather is horrible. Feel like I'm in a bit of a rut moodwise...but I don't think I can do much about it.

Bex- If I were you, I would consider calling a help line like lifeline, youthline etc. I work for a helpline (not one of those lol dont worry ) and we've been having plenty of calls about it, most people seem to be much better just for going "omgwtfearthquakewhatdoidonowshouldipanic? no ok ill have a cup of tea instead" on the phone

Happy Tuesday!!! I love long weekends! I just weighed in this morning at 161! That officially puts me 30 pounds down!! Some how I lost 1.4 pounds since Friday. Not sure how exactly, but I'm gonna take it! Hopefully I hold steady or lose a little more for my BL weigh in on Friday. Taking little one to DH's softball game tonight. Bringing Eggsalad on Sourdough for dinner for me. The Cheddar Stuffed Burgers last night were ok. Nothing spectacular. I found a recipe for Garlic Stuffed Chicken that I think I'll try this coming weekend. I have some fresh garlic in the fridge that i need to use.

Casey - LOL! Its all in the recipes! After eating essentially the same 7-10 meals for 5 months, I decided it was time to shake things up a little! I do think it is keeping me from getting bored with my diet. AND if you are eating yummy stuff, it doesn't feel like a diet.

Bex-sorry you are having a hard time.

Rainbow- love the new profile pic!

Hello Ladies!

I've had a crazy morning at work but decided to take a little break and see what you girls are up to.

I went for a run without hacking up a lung yesterday! It felt really good... can't wait to go again this afternoon!
I finally got to go grocery shopping too.. soo yay for healthy choices in the house.

Rainbow: I'm digging the new profile pic.. very pretty, and I love the hair color
I eat a lot of frozen meals. Mainly, because I'm lazy and they are quick and easy. I also like the portion control. But I have to be careful with the sodium and drink lots of water. I've actually done a pretty good job of cutting back on these, but I still eat them a lot for lunch. But I'll throw in a salad with it.

Jenn: I just don't like to cook. It overwhelms me. I never really learned so I guess I'm just going to have to teach myself. I have yet to try a new recipe.. but now that I'm feeling better I have plans to do that this week

I am so excited right now because my little sister had a baby boy this morning!!!! My new nephew (and godson) was born at 9:41am, weighs 8 pounds 3 ounces, and is almost 21 inches long. His name is Justin Gregory and he is so adorable!!!! My sister lives out in Oklahoma, so for right now I have to rely on text messages and picture messages, but I can't wait to meet the little guy and get some Auntie Mimi cuddle time

Rainbow – yeah, I am 20lbs away from my b/f weight. And if I stay on track I can get there by Christmas. Way to be adaptable with the frozen meal. Going to a salmon thingy at the b/f’s so I brought with me twice as much lunch today so that Iwould have lunch tomorrow (as I am not going home). And congrats on the scale movement. And great pic.

Jen- congrats on the loss.

Casey – congrats on a hack free run! Cooking. Try cooking once a week. Start with foods you like and with time you will get the hang of it. And keep it simple. Have you tried a basic or beginners cooking class? I only cook once a week. Cooking daily while working and studying is just too much for me.

Chel/Mimi – congrats!

My weekend was good, but I turned into a cookie monster. On the plus side, with all the cooking I did my weight stayed the same. Which is great considering all the cooking I did “I was a cookie monster – flourless peanut butter and chocolate cookies. So delicious. Apparently too delicious. And the boy made pancakes and bacon for breakfast on Sunday!! I had it with a smoothie, but still. Seeing my balanced eating slip a little bit, I had a chat with him on what he needs to do if he wants to bake – HIDE THE GOODIES. And to half the recipe, etc. The boy is game.

I am on a break at work. Waiting to hear back from my Senior (work term) before I can proceed.

Maybe I’ll break into the 180s next week!!!! If I do, I am going to treat myself to my bikini wax. I purchased one on Groupon or Teambuy…one of those deal sites. And I think that will be a great time to get it!!!

Congrats, Chele!! I am so ready for nieces and nephews!

Hey everyone! So last Thursday I had all my little personal responses are typed up and ended up losing it all! I was so bummed after working on them for so long. I just had to walk away. So I am back after a long anniversary weekend. I will attempt my personal notes again later. Still bitter.

I hope you are all doing well. I will catch up more later.

Chele: Congrats! My first nephew arrived in February and I am completely obsessed with the little guy!

Rissa: I do cook a little bit, it's always the same stuff. I need to step outside of the box a little bit. I made the decision to cook one new recipe out of one of my various cookbooks each week, but I have yet to do it. Mainly because I have been sick. I have every intention to start that experiment this week though.

jenn Thanks for the compliment!

casey Thanks for the compliment on the photo! As for frozen meals - I think I made the mistake of just choosing the lowest calorie one I could. We don't have a huge selection of frozen meals in New Zealand in comparison to what is available in other countries - I remember on my trips to the US being AMAZED at the stuff you could get in the frozen aisle! I'm not going to make it a regular thing simply because of that lack of choice, but it's ok occasionally.

chele Congrats! Yay for your sister and for you!

Risssa Thanks for the compliment on the photo! And as for the scale movement...well.. it didn't stick. Also about the cookies and pancakes and stuff - it's not like you will do that every weekend! I am firmly of the belief that this is a lifestyle change, and you can't say you're never going to eat pancakes and cookies again! Unless you're one of those people who can't control cravings and once you eat something like that you binge...and I understand that those people completely cut things out. But I can't do that, and if you can't then don't hehe.

KayNicole Hi! I totally know what that is like - I've done it before and gotten so frustrated to have to write everything out again. Urgh. Hope your weekend was good!

So this morning I am really frustrated. I make Wed/Thurs my "official" weigh in days because I'm usually at my parents house and they have a fancy, new, fairly reliable scale. I was so happy yesterday to finally have dropped to 78kg and this morning (after pooping and everything haha) I got 78.5kg AGAIN. GRRRRRR. I know, they're just numbers, but I've been stuck between 78.5 and 79 now for nearly 2 weeks and it's frustrating me a lot. I didn't expect to get a plateau so soon.

I posted a new profile pic/avatar pic because the other one was so old! I don't entirely like the one I posted - it's not something I'd put on Facebook haha - but you ladies I feel can deal with seeing a "raw" version of me. I took it with the webcam last night, my makeup was a little smeared and I don't really like the shape it makes my face look - but I didn't like the 2 year old grumpy looking photo of me! So there you go!

Today I'm getting my hair done freshly red and a trim - I was thinking about getting it cut a little shorter but after waiting for 2.5 years for it to grow long, I don't think I'm quite ready for shorter again yet...we'll see.

I'm procrastinating exercise right now because I don't know which dvd to choose and I told my boyfriend about going up in weight again and he said to dust myself off and go even harder on the exercise - which was almost the opposite of what I had planned - I thought I'd just do the 20 min Turbo Jam dvd - I find it really challenging and a pretty intense 20 mins, plus I don't have long until I have to be at the hairdresser.

BLEH. Basically I am feeling a bit BLEH today. I know the scale shouldn't get me disheartened but I guess today it has.

casey- Sorry you've been feeling so poorly lately. Awesome you finally got a run in! I used to really not like cooking and i think its just b/c since i knew so little i expected to and thought i wouldn't enjoy it. Though in my case, i really need to have people TO cook for, i don't tend to do so for myself still.

Rissa- I'm jealous you have a trainer! I think after I lose another 15 lbs or so i may spring for a session w/someone for weights. I "know" a good deal, but get almost overwhelmed w/it when i try to put a plan together for myself and would like a really a$$ kicking routine. I have always kinda stayed away from weights, and since i gained so much i will have a LOT of toning up to do.
I like your goal rewards and such! In about 20 pounds i def would like to go shopping, and you know Lululemon has such awesome stuff! What i like about really nice workout gear is that i can wear it for so many things.

Blcarter- Ah for having a rough TOM, boo. Resisting cake, go you! (cake is like my nemesis. resisting the cake my mom bought last weekend was rooough)

bex- I'm sending well wishes your way.

rainbow- Mmmm, sashimi. That is one of my favorite things, and I used to eat it at least 2x a week back when i was with my last boyfriend (back when i was also super healthy, so it was what i pretty much stuck to when we went out to eat which was pretty often!). Then I even worked at a sushi restaurant for awhile, and goodness knows i swear i must have had an unhealthy amount of mercury in me from eating tuna and salmon sashimi ALL the time. Ha.
Over-eating at dinner time became a huge issue for me. My (mom esp) over-eats (and i see her hiding it-and it makes me sad b/c i know how deeply unhappy her relationship w/food is. i suppose i did get a good deal of my own issues from her) and there is SO much tempting and very unhealthy food around. A lot of things were going (very very very) very wrong in my life during this last year (when i moved back home w/my parents. at 27-err) and i went from being thin/overly restrictive to compulsively over-eating and quite overweight. Ok i am going on a tangent here, and could be totally over-projecting! I just know a lot of family drama and difficulty tied into my over-eating around my parents. Not inferring that's the case, but i was just throwing it out there. Cleaning up after their dinner every night can be torture for me just b/c of the simple fact the food they eat tastes so good and i don't allow myself any of it-regardless of all my issues w/my parents!
moving on!
Different scales show different things-the loss the saw was consistent since you had been weighing on that. I know how the number on that stupid scale can have entirely too much weight (oh super lame pun!) in how we can feel about ourselves. After my horrible binge and couple of days of not so great eating the day before and even after that, i avoided the scale for some time (after i saw the main damage. which i covered above). I know a lot of people can do well weighing in daily, but i know it can really screw w/my head to. I had been weighing daily, and taking that break (even though my reason for first doing so was due to my mistakes) i think has helped me start to (hopefully) weigh in less. It's different for everyone, but hang in there.
You look pretty in your picture!

jenn- Yummy! I really do miss cooking, but my parents aren't interested in my healthier meals-and i tend to stick to the same thing (im overly neurotic and limiting so much b/c of my issues w/my screw up last week). I did however make a folder of meals i want to try later on, and have saved quite a few of the ones you've posted so thanks!! I also love when i can seriously feel the burn from certain exercises, instant gratification!
Big congrats on the loss! We both had good weigh ins today!

Chele- I have not managed to do 90 mins at the gym in a long time, jealous! Also congrats on becoming an aunt!

Kaynicole- It's been awhile since i had checked in to, and i had lost a response last friday i think-grr i hate it when that happens!

Ok, on to me...it's been a bit since i have posted so i wanted to have replies. I have hit the 50 pound mark, and i am of course happy...but i also am struggling w/the fact that i allowed myself to gain so so much weight. I spend way too much time obsessing about the what ifs regarding how much better life would be if i hadn't gained anything. I just try to focus on the fact that my life was totally out of control then, and while it sucks horribly to have to be so so uncomfortable in my own skin, that i also am making life changes and have real goals.
I am now just at the cusp of not technically being ow. I do however have a small structure for my height, so i really need to lose another 8 pounds (well in my mind) to not look overweight.
I also got a new pt job at a golf course. I had to get some new clothes to wear, b/c i've been living in these huge (my moms) shorts and t-shirts b/c well nothing of mine fits since i gained so much weight obviously. I need to look "decent" at this job, and i also feel like i'll just be the "fat" girl, among the thin pretty ones. I need to get a handle on not surrounding my every thought w/how unhappy i am w/myself currently. I mean my goodness-i have lost a good deal of weight, thank goodness.
Yesterday i ran 2 miles straight-only my second run since i stopped running and gained weight over the winter. It was rough, and for the most part i stick to cardio machines b/c i can go longer and for right now thats my main focus.
For those of you that monitor heart rate-what do you try to keep it around while working out? I don't have a heart rate monitor (yet, when i get my finacial aid check i shall be getting one) but i try to check it (and i mean use the machines for it too, but i dont totally trust them) every so often right after the end of an interval- and i suppose i keep it @150-170 for the most part. At the end of the first workout (i tend to do 40 min on the elliptical-w/ 2 min at a higher intensity and 2 min at recovery for the duration. then 25 min of intervals on the bike w/a cooldown) i know it gets up there but thats only towards the end that i hit 180. During the second part of my workout its prob 145-165 depending on the interval. I definitely am drenched, and working hard, but i wonder if i'm doing enough. Just thought i'd ask you all.

Goodness this is a novel!

cata I know for sure that the only time I am really tempted to overeat is if it's a big family dinner - not just my parents, but with my aunts and uncles and cousins. Also at my sister's now, unfortunately. Since she got married and moved into her own house, she cooks these amazing meals. Not extra extra unhealthy, but not exactly healthy healthy either - using real butter etc etc, hard to explain - the food is delicious but that is one place I really have to be strict with weighing my food and portion control and asking her exactly what went into what she made haha.
With my weighing, I know I should stop weighing every day, because I'm using like 4 different sets of scales. It's ridiculous, but I kind of like seeing different things. 3 of them I'm sure are fairly accurate, and the ones in my bathroom at home I know will always show me 1kg less than what I am. I think the thing that is annoying is that I know I'm around those 2 weights (78-78.5) but I really want to keep moving down. I guess I set myself up to get disappointed when I set a time-based goal, and I am currently learning from that mistake - although I'm leaving that goal there anyway (the one for my birthday).
On to you - you are doing so well! I've never been thin so I don't know what that feels like mentally to have been there and put weight back on, but I can kind of imagine. I got slimmer once by accident and didn't really realise and then felt so horrible when I weighed myself once at 93kilograms. That was a turning point. I think you were spot on when you said you need to realise that you have come a long way and lost a lot of weight. I know you might not feel amazing, but you should try to feel positive about how far you have come and how hard you've worked. I'm sure you don't look as bad as you might think, I know we're all pretty hard on ourselves at times.
As for your heartrate question, I only have one workout that actually tells me my heartrate, which is when I'm on the stationary bike. My treadmill does too but I haven't used that in too long because I need to move it.
Anyway, as for heartrate, when I'm on the stationary bike I don't really focus on changing it, but I do watch it - when I'm doing mild effort, it's around 130-140, moderate is 150ish and when I'm going really hard it's about 160. I have no idea if this is good or not but I sweat quite a bit and feel good. I sweat more when I do my dvds though, so maybe my heartrate is higher? I'm also looking into getting a heartrate monitor to use when I'm not on a machine.
Sorry for the essay response! Oh and thanks for the compliment on the picture!

rainbow
Big family meals are by far the hardest imo for sure. They are land mines for me! I'm far away from most family though. Also i do get what your saying about your sister, really most of the food i ever prepared (and used to also avoid eating, go figure) wasn't "unhealthy" (though some was out right!) persay, but def not diet friendly! It's just so often the bigger the gathering, and even moreso in a lot of cases the more intimate the relationship/ability to feel at ease around the people, a lot of eating occasions can have so much food!! The whole food is love, etc. I mean its harder for me then i suppose most, and always harder for those on a diet...b/c of my own issues w/moderation.

I used to weigh in daily, multiple times a day on 3 different scales. Thats when imo it crosses into rather obsessive (back then while i'd kill to weigh what i did then now, regardless of how unwell i may have been. i obviously need to eventually deal w/my feelings about that-but my point is i was like totally obsessed. that was me i can't speak for you-but its verges into obsessive territory imo). I definitely get it though, and its a rough pattern to break, and if i had more money i'd probably buy a new scale, lol. Just, hang in there. I try to tell myself that weighing in less frequently allows you to see a more direct change, and w/daily weighs there can be so much flucuation- it works well for some though. I think if i could keep it to every 3/4 days it would be best, but it can be hard to do.


(thanks for your kind words. i mean i also wasn't close to happy at my low weights, i have a lot of work to do on how i feel about myself. my life once-and this is hard to admit-revolved around my need to be "pretty/thin/desired" and it left me a seriously screwed up individual who put so much of her self worth into such things that a)i eventually lost it and then put on crap tons of weight and b)has me having to really rebuild my life b/c it became really empty. though hey better late then never!)
Maybe i'll suck it up and post a picture. I have this intense fear that someone irl will "discover" it-and i mean i am going to insane lengths to hide myself away from people b/c i can't deal w/my weight gain. Which yeah, isn't sane it of itself. So owning up to the me "now" seems like it could be progress in some sense, but i'm also a scardy cat. Sad.


From a lot of what i've read it def does sound like what your doing heart-rate wise is good, i know they say on the lower range is i think for the most part is closer to the "fat burning" state and upwards of that is cardio, and then on to "above" and such. The whole "fat burning" stage for me to stay in would feel like i wasn't working out hard enough and such (which your above too i believe) but there still remains conflicting info. I know 50-60 and upwards of course, but esp when your starting off getting it there is a good deal. I just wanted to see as many people weigh in about it as possible. Back in the day i used to keep it as high as i possibly could, and i also know/heck knew then that i was risking burn out. But i'm talking like upwards of 85%, i couldn't maintain that if i wanted for the time i used to at all. Also fitness is a big factor, the better conditioned, the higher you can aim to keep in-at times to increase it. Ok i am shutting up now. I just sometimes worry i'm not pushing myself enough and the more i hear of others pushing harder and having good results it makes me want the same i suppose.

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http://www.americanheart.org/present...dentifier=4736
How should I pace myself?

When starting an exercise program, aim at the lowest part of your target zone (50 percent) during the first few weeks. Gradually build up to the higher part of your target zone (75 percent). After six months or more of regular exercise, you may be able to exercise comfortably at up to 85 percent of your maximum heart rate. However, you don't have to exercise that hard to stay in shape.
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I'll look around more, i've seen getting up to sticking to @75 mentioned, a lot mentioning @60-so thats another reason i asked you all b/c of the variation i've seen!

(i am the queen of the overly verbose responses!)

cata I never really thought much about heart rate, and I don't think I really will until I'm more fit...I'm still "unfit" I think, so getting exercise in regularly is still feeling like an achievement!

I think it's fine to be scared to have a picture up, it's the internet, anyone could come across it - I worry sometimes that people I know IRL will find my posts on here - I'm not worried about the pictures or anything, everyone I know knows me as overweight because that's all I've ever been - I think for me it's more that I think they would judge me and I'd feel embarrassed about posting on here... but those people are also in the majority people that have never had weight problems, and I love this site so I'm not giving it up.
Even if you don't post a photo, maybe you should take one of yourself? So that when you lose the weight you can see what you did. See the effort you made to get back to a healthier point.

I just changed my profile picture again - I promise I will stop now haha, I had my hair re-coloured and cut today and my hairdresser decided instead of straightening it (since I do that almost every day anyway) to do this fun 50's ish curly wavy style. I like it a lot! It's what my hair would probably look similar too if I hadn't damaged it so much by so much straightening. The pic hasn't shown up for me yet as profile, so I'm not sure..but I like it.