As in "hanging on like grim death/for dear life".
It's very busy at the minute at work, with some quite heavyweight things to do: trying to decide whether an application for marriage is genuine/a funeral miles away but the family wanted me (that's this morning) and so on. Plus making sure preparations for mother's 90th birthday next week are on track.
I was doing OK though. Then I went into town to find out about a new mobile phone. I've done a lot of research, coming down for an HTC Wildfire but I needed to actually lay hands on one. I went to the Virgin shop and really liked the handset ~ but the assistant was so sullen and rude and unhelpful (just like they are on the phone!) that I left and went to Carphone Warehouse, to ask about starting from scratch with a whole new provider. He was lovely but unfortunately the computer said no.
Now, it's true that I had a financial disaster 4 years ago but since then my finances are rigidly correct; and I have albeit a tiny contract with Virgin, most of my insurances on contracts and so on, so I'd thought I was getting credit-worthy again. Apparently not, and while if them's the rules, them's the rules, I felt totally devastated, flattened. I was feeling so in control of my life, because of the weightloss, and this has just reminded me of an area beyond my control.
Yea, I can hear how pitiful it sounds but it's really dented my confidence and actually, yesterday was full of 'what's the point of sticking to a diet?' thoughts that could have easily led to a binge; but didn't. I'm still a bit cloudy this morning, really want to pull the covers over my head and eat ~ so any positive thoughts welcome! And when I get some spare time, I'll get onto my credit reference files and make sure they're cleaned up. Sigh.