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Originally Posted by mthrgoos68
For some of us, and I'm definitely guilty of this, we show our love through our cooking and baking for the people we love. On one level, I'm sure he understands what you're trying to do, and another level he's not sure how to go about caring for you without cooking for you.
In the end, even though it's hard, and frustrating, it is up to you to be responsible for your choices and it sounds like you're doing a great job of it. Keep up the good work!
I'm guilty of the same thing. I LOVE to cook and bake, and it's something that I just can't give up. I actually bake cookies all the time and mail them off to my friends leaving one or two for me. It's a great way to make me feel good about myself and I can still stay true to my diet.
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Originally Posted by pinkflower
I have to say, in the recent past, it was hard for me to understand that people actually are very strict on diets. I seriously didn't understand how someone could feel guilty about eating a piece of cake or whatever. I understand now, of course, but I never denied myself anything I wanted in the past. I LOVE baking and sharing my baking, so I've been guilty of this, bringing over cheesecakes, homemade cinnamon rolls etc to friends and family I know are dieting. It wasn't out of wanting to sabotage them, I simply didn't understand the implications and just wanted to share something yummy.
I also agree that you should talk to him, but take it from the approach that you understand he just wants to share his amazing cooking with you rather than sabotage you. Maybe you could even find a specific recipe you'd enjoy together that is healthier he could make you?
I don't know if he thinks about it as sabotaging me, or if as you say, it's him wanting to share something good with me. He does make an effort to cook things that he knows I love, and it's not that I don't appreciate the kindness, it's just that ... well I'm eating differently now.
I think that maybe asking him to cook something specifically is a great idea that he'll be receptive too, I know that his feelings are hurt that I barely eat his cooking anymore, and I would love to, if he made something I felt not guilty about eating.
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Originally Posted by HoneyMustard
Do you do any cooking for yourself? Does he mind you cooking?
PinkFlower hit on something. "Maybe you could even find a specific recipe you'd enjoy together that is healthier he could make you?" I think that's a great idea!
I would think he would enjoy cooking in a healthier way. You say. "[and he knows better, he's very into nutrition and being healthy]"
It almost sounds like this could be a cooking healthy journey that both of you can do. Perhaps he just needs some encouragement too.
Just some thoughts. Good Luck!
I try not to eat out and to buy food that isn't prepared, so I do almost all the cooking myself. Before I made these major changes to what I ate we usually took turns cooking dinner -- I would cook one night and he would cook the next. He doesn't mind me cooking at all and thinks that I'm a great cook too [yay ego stroking! I just started cooking everything for myself about a year ago and I do have some kitchen skills
]
Part of the issue with the food that I eat versus the food that he's eating is that we're pretty much polar body opposites. He's enjoyed the changes of a ton of fruit, veggies, yogurt, etc, but he's also very under weight and been losing weight since I made these changes and he's introduced these things more into his diet. So when he eats to GAIN weight, I'm eating to LOSE weight.
Hopefully we can find some things to cook together [or he can cook for me lol], or maybe I can ask him to make some simple changes to what or how he cooks so I can enjoy his food again.
Thank you so much everyone for the feedback, it is much appreciated.