I realize more and more how much of a doormat being fat makes me, and it's really starting to piss me off. Maybe it's because I'm losing weight and realizing it doesn't have to be this way forever, but I'm getting really tired of being such a pushover.
Yesterday I got scammed by a magazine salesman. I kind of knew all along, but it really hit me afterward.
He approached me in the mall--a guy around my age (early 20s)--and asked if I could do a survey to help him with school. He said he was earning points for a study-abroad trip to London. So I (very reluctantly) agreed, and he started asking me to rank my favorite magazines out of a list. ("You don't have to buy any--you're still helping just by taking the survey") so I ranked them, and then he said, "So which ones do you want to buy?" And at the point it was obvious it was a scam, but I was so humiliated to have been duped in the first place that I agreed to buy one.
I managed to say no when he asked which other one I wanted to buy, but the damage was done. I planned to give him a bogus credit card number I suspected by that point that I would never see this magazine, but he only could take cash--of course.
So that's the point when any self-respecting person would have said, "You know what? Thanks anyway but I think I'm good." But what do I do? Let him take me to the ATM and hand over $40 for a crappy magazine I don't want. All because I was too embarrassed to be the fat girl wasting someone's time. Even though I know he's a scammer.
I happened to be in a good mood after just having bought an iPad ( ) so I wasn't too upset about losing a week's worth of groceries or 2 weeks of gas money, but the more I thought about it the more I realized if I had been skinny I would have been able to stand up for myself. And of course he must have targeted me because I seem like (am) the pathetic fat girl. It's so incredibly frustrating. I just want it to not be like this anymore.
And I know I'll never see that damn magazine.