Hey, TD!
I also joined today. I really hope you don't get scared off because from what I've seen this forum is full of great people ready to support and uplift us.
First of all, are there any health issues you have? Have you talked to your doctor? The first time someone mentioned "insulin resistance" to me, it was my huge breakthrough once I googled it and started reading up on pre-diabetes. I know what works for me, but we're all unique and I don't think we can all lose weight in the same way. Making sure you're safe and talking to a doctor first would be the first practical advice I can give. I'm not a doctor, nor a nutritionist and that is the kind of advice that has priority when it comes to your health.
Having said that, what I can suggest for your mental block is taking a one step at a time approach. Believe it or not, I adamantly did not want to diet and was against dieting and losing weight. But I was bothered by my dark circles and read up on possible causes. Dehydration was one of them. So I started researching dehydration and it turned out water retention was also part of my obesity. I started drinking 10 cups of water/unsweetened green tea a day. It was shocking to me to go to the bathroom so often at first, but now I think nothing of it (and my system has finetuned too so I don't go as often
). Do you drink enough water? Do you start your day with a big glass of water? That's a small step, it's free and it doesn't take a lot of effort. But while eating is important, apparently we often confuse thirst for hunger when we're dehydrated.
Then I was worried about getting period cramps that were far more intense than what I was used to and googled that. Anemia seemed the most likely case for me. I realized there is NO way I'm getting enough iron from my eat-twice-a-day-and-most-likely-processed-junk-and-bread diet. I started researching iron sources and the best ones also come packed with lots of other great nutrients. That was step 2.
What followed was the only exercise manageable for me at the time: walking. Slowly and for no more than 30 min at a time at first, but man, it felt GREAT. Don't worry about the weigh ins and my advice is to not take these small steps hoping to lose weight at first. Think of it as preparation for losing weight. These things will not be a magic cure or quick trick but integrated with regular, healthy, balanced meals, they will help. They made me feel good in my first days of weight loss, without feeling like I had to make a HUGE effort.
Let us know how it works!