Ugh - I had a similar problem (similar size as you, going for 1400 cal/day). It has been a slow, slow journey. It's true, the exercising made me gain weight for a while - I started running. Seems like everyone else says the pounds just melted off when they started running, but not for me! But I could definitely see differences in my body even when I didn't lose weight. Ironically, I didn't see any differences in measurement either - talk about frustrating! But I definitely looked better, so that's something. And it took probably 4-6 weeks to see that.
The only thing I can add to the advice so far, since I am mostly vegetarian (trying to make myself eat more fish, but I go back and forth on that one) is: Don't go *low carb* but consider paying attention to the carbs for a bit.
So - maybe you are doing this already - but I don't eat any refined carbs right now. Not even much whole wheat. And usually only 1 serving of grain each day - 1/2 c. brown rice or quinoa, maybe a whole wheat pita. I'll have 1 or 2 servings of fruit as well.
Most of my protein comes from soy - tofu, tempeh, soy milk, "fake" meat products - dairy - nonfat Greek yogurt, nf cottage cheese, lowfat cheeses, 1% milk - and eggs. (And fish, of course, but that doesn't work for you...)
I am eating mostly by South Beach right now, and it is very veggie-friendly. There are lots of folks who take the principles of SBD and apply it to Weight Watchers or calorie-counting. I tracked my food consumption before and after making this switch. Carbs went down, but I still average ~100g/day, usually more. My protein went way up (I aim for close to 30%, almost never make it) as did fat (I am focusing on trying to get lots of monounsaturated fats - olive oil, nuts, avocado, etc.)
Anyway, even if you don't sign on to the whole South Beach thing, consider checking it out. The "rules" keep you eating healthy: 4.5 cups of vegetables per day, minimal saturated fats, only whole grains, etc. And there are lots of vegetarians doing it.
I only started losing when I shook up my diet in this way. With calorie-counting I could justify a lot of less-than-ideal choices.
to you, whatever you decide to do! If anything, I hope it helps to know there are people out there struggling, too.
P.S. I am still a calorie-counter, if that makes sense... I track everything.