I just wanted to pop in here and say hello... I joined the boards last month just before the birth of my second child to find support to get myself back to where I wanted and needed to be...
While i was pregnant I had a small 9 month reprieve from the disordered eating patterns I have developed over the years... It was easy to gain some control over the bingeing/purging cycles and severe overeating... I had a reason to be as "normal" as possible... but now that the only thing holding me back is no longer a factor I have been unable to resist the urges and have fallen back to the behaviors I exercised before becoming pregnant.
I am a very large girl in a very image concious family... it makes being comfortable in your own skin very hard and to cope with that many years ago I began certain habits that probably weren't for the best. Just before I found out I was pregnant in august of last year my overeating had come to the most serious point that it had ever been at... and the bingeing and purging was out of control... I was amazed I was able to real myself in and gain control while I was pregnant... I guess the only thing that I'm better at then making myself sick is making myself feel guilty....
Anyways, now those comfortable familiar habits are begining to return. It's hard to not see them as a good thing as they provide me with the one thing that I truly want - to be comfortable with myself, in my own skin, to be comfortable with my body... I know that it's not good or normal but it's irrisistable that feeling I get after having done these things...