Gosh, do you ever think, "If only?". If you would have stayed on plan past that first week or so of January, you probably would be almost to goal. I don't care what a person calls it, motivation, commitment, or what ever, there comes a point in your life that you just get SO sick and tired of being fat and miserable that you'll stick to it. Perseverance is the key. Every day you blow it is another day of being fat, every time you cheat is another day of being fat, every excuse is another day of being fat, every feasting holiday, special occasion or planned cheat, is another day of being fat. One day you will just have to decide that there are no more excuses. Until that day comes, nothing any of us can say will make you do it. You have to decide to do it for yourself...and stick to it forever.
I might sound kind of harsh, and I apologise for not sugar coating my post some, but the fact is, if you keep doing what you have always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got. You begin by putting one foot in front of the other and "git er done".