Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Bell
I have had 5 binges in the last 2 weeks kind of problems. Every time it happens I deal with it by overeating. Why do I do this, and how do I just smile and go on?
I hate it and kind of like it at the same time. I think I eat because I like the attention and then it scares me that I might do something stupid so I punish myself or something. ugh. This sucks.
Hi Lori Bell,
I'm a bit late to this conversation, but just wanted to add my two cents:
I have been overweight/obese for most of my life. Not only have I been invisible to boys/men for most of my life, but it has also been made clear to me many times in my life that most men are simply not attracted to my body. And I will say, it wasn't just men - women were sometimes cruel as well.
This started to change in my early twenties, when I lost a ton of weight. I was still large (always will be), but I had a real hourglass figure. It's a little bit difficult to explain, because the changes were quite subtle in terms of how I was treated in my hometown (I think this is because of my race, which I think removes me that much more from mainstream beauty standards). Even though the changes were subtle, I was suddenly getting more attention than I knew what to do with. And THEN I moved overseas for a year, to a part of the world where women with my skin colour and body type and everything were considered to be more ideal - and I was terrified of all of the attention I received.
Part of this was a feeling of being unsafe - I simply wasn't used to men hitting on me, and it felt more aggressive than it actually was. I got over this part, but you know what I am still struggling with? I struggle with the sense that when I lose weight and receive all of this attention for losing weight, (not just from men, but particularly from men), I am still being judged. I feel that men are still judging my body. I become self-conscious and resentful, because it's like they suddenly think I'm "good enough" and I am at a stage where I am trying to believe that I am ALWAYS more than good enough. But it's not easy - so I binge. I'm struggling with this a lot.
The way I deal with it right now is to focus on making myself feel good everyday for me, to acknowledge sincere and non-creepy compliments with a smile and thank-you, and move on. I can't get hung up on what others think of me, good or bad.
Anyway, that's my $0.02 about how all of this new attention, whether good or bad, can put weird pressures on a person who is struggling with their weight and body image, and trigger binging. It might not be the exact same thing for you, but I can certainly relate ...