Hey, all!
I used to be semi-active in this community, about 6 years ago... I'm back again to hopefully connect and find some support and inspiration from you lot! I loved checking in here before, so am glad that it occured to me to come back!
I've struggled with the way I looked since a young age, probably around 8 years old. I didn't have a weight problem until I was about 17, but I always thought I was just gross and fat... I binge ate starting at about 8 years, too. My mom was in the hospital, and my nanny didn't really pay attention to the fact that I was constantly in the kitchen, eating potato chips and candy and hot dogs and anything else I could get my hands on.
Fastforward to age 16... I was still at a healthy weight and was quite small, although I had the disillusion that I was just unforgivably grotesque. My mom had died when I was ten, and my dad remarried just 7 months later to a woman who struggled with her weight big time... not sure how that reflected on me, exactly. I refuse to blame her or anyone else but myself for my weight, though... nothing's going to be accomplished if I don't take responsibility for where I'm at on my own! Anyway, my stepmom and I really didn't get along, so with my dad's permission, I moved out on my own into a situation where I rented a room from a young couple who were youth sponsors at my church. I shared their laundry, kitchen and bathroom. I worked at A&W part time and suddenly had a lot more control over what I ate! I went from about 125 to 140 in my last year of high school... I am 5'2".
In my first year of university (Sept 1999), I went up to about 175. And, by the end of my second year, I was at 190. I did some yo-yo dieting off and on for the next few years, very misled into thinking fad diets would somehow show good on their promises. Finally, in October 2003, I walked into a Jenny Craig centre and weighed in at 183 lbs... By May 2004, I hit 149.
I moved away that summer, stalled at 149 when I switched from the Jenny Craig pre-packaged portions to start incorporating my own foods again. I moved to a smaller city with no JC centre, but tried to keep going with JC over the phone, receiving the food by mail. I ended up getting frustrated with spending the money when my weight continued to stay the same, and even crept back up a few pounds. My body seemed very happy where it was, no matter what efforts I made... although, when it came to exercise, there was little effort put forward, so... haha. NOW I know what I could have done, but I didn't know then. Or maybe I was just too lazy? I don't know.
So, I went away on a missions trip in Jan 2006 weighing about 155. I returned in August weighing almost 180 again, after a broken engagement while I was away. Serious emotional eating going on there - the engagement was broken off in late June. So, that's 25 pounds in a couple of months! Ugh.
I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and started working with a trainer at the local gym (first really consistent effort at weight loss through exercise EVER in my life!) I ended up getting back to 150 by Feb 2007, but was also smaller than I'd ever been as an adult. I felt amazing! So good.
I ended up going on another missions trip in 2007, from May - July. I returned home at 160, and ended up sitting around there for over a year, until I got pregnant in Nov 2008...
... and that brings me here! I am a single mom (picked a real winner for a boyfriend, lemmetellya!) of a beautiful 7 month old girl. I gained a LOT of weight during my pregnancy... 60 lbs total. I sat at 190 about a week after my c-section delivery (after 4 1/2 days of labour, my 10 lb baby was NOT coming out, she decided!). I tried to start running again in November, but my knees did not cooperate with all that extra weight. By Christmas, I'd lost 10 lbs somehow. And, after I started running again in January, I've seen a few more pounds go... I did get to 165 a few weeks ago, but a family visit and a trip out west for a doctor's appointment made the number on the scale head upwards again... I haven't gotten the courage to see the exact number again since then, but I'm guessing 173-175ish...
If you have read this far, bravo! Thanks for putting up with my blabbering. I'm aiming for 140 by July... a tight race there, I know, and I'll settle just to fit into the dress I want to wear to my baby sister's wedding, but still hoping for a goal of 140 by then! I'm using Tosca Reno's "Eat Clean Diet", working towards running a 10k in August... I'm in fighting 5k shape already! And, I need to get consistent with strength training. I'm planning to start working it in 3x weekly now, to start.
Thanks for reading! Excited to jump back in here!
