hi everybody. it seems like there's a lot of new faces around here, which is so exciting! i've been spending some quality time today reading through posts and sharing in everyone else's triumphs and it's really inspiring me right now. i've had a really hard time since i first joined MRC in august; i made it a third of the way to my goal and then had a massive family crisis in late september that knocked me off track and then a surgery in early january that took me out of exercising for a while, and just all the drama and flurry of craziness in the past four months has left me scrambling! i really want to finish what i started and get down to my goal weight, but i'm just feeling kind of powerless. has anyone else ever felt that way? like your eating habits are a runaway train that you don't know how to stop?? i could really use some advice and encouragement, guys. i've been trying to follow plan as much as i can (albeit a little loosely, i'll admit--HNSes have proven to be too expensive with all the family stuff going on that's costing my boyfriend and i a lot of money to help with, not to mention the costs of my surgeries), but i seem to be stuck gaining and losing the same few pounds.
my main problem is that i use food as medication. i know this to be true but yet i don't really know how to fix it! somehow it's just easier to go eat a bowl of ice cream if i'm frustrated with my boyfriend than to tell him i'm frustrated and try to work through it. i also fail miserably when it comes to denying cravings, too--example: last night, i got it in my head that i just HAD to have a bowl of cereal, so i actually went to the gas station a block away and bought an individual serving-size container of cocoa krispies. why on earth did i do that? why am i not strong enough to say "listen, you don't have any cereal here, and it's not good for you anyway, so just shut up about it and drink some water"? why doesn't drinking water kill my cravings for me like it seems to do for other people? sometimes i think i should just resign myself to the fact that i'm destined to be a big girl and just stop fighting. it's exhausting and i never seem to get anywhere.
this post has gotten a lot more debbie downer than i'd originally intended! i sincerely apologize, you guys, and bless you if you made it this far, hehe. can anyone offer some advice or encouragement?? i feel like i'm just spinning my wheels