I'm trying so hard to not let him bother me, but any time a text come in I get all red faced. I am happy that he has got another phone, that is a huge weight for me. I don't want to know who calls him and who he calls. When I have access I look. Which is how I also know he's up all hours of the night still, which is why I don't want him to have overnight visits. He's extreamly mad at me today cuz he moved to a new house and wants me to give him visitation there. He has no job, no means of any money, which means he's moved it with someone else and someone I don't know this time. He keeps calling it "his house" however I know better. You don't get something for nothing. He is allowed the visitation at the farm and I will leave him to it and my mom will keep an eye on things. But that is his only option until I see him get a job, show a lease, etc. I have openly told him to take me to court if he feels he deserve more. If he does the judge will award it. But in my eyes this is all i'm willing to allow at this time. My divorce paperwork is very clear. His visitation is on Saturday and Sunday on agreed times at my home, over night visits are at the descretion of mother.

I have an appointment with my lawyer next wednesday at 2, and we will be dealing with the Guradianship as well as what I need to do to keep beonca safe. Again I'm not trying to be one of these woman who keep their children from their dad, but I will keep her safe. I do not worry as much as long as he is in our house. We live in a 125 year old farm house, you can hear everything through the floor. lol If he gets his crap together I would have no problem with him taking my daugher for a night, but she needs a crib, and many other things before that. I would enjoy a break to sometimes, although my mom will give me a break most anytime I want, but I just feel to guilty cuz she does so much for her already.

Again thank you everyone so much for letting me talk about this. I don't have any friends here I can really talk about this with. My mom just gets such an attitude when I get upset cuz she's just tired of him.

Why not get YOU a new phone and not give him that number? I assume the farm has a land line with an answering machine? Let him call there and you call back when YOU feel ready to cope with it. Or let him call you at work only where you can ignore it on the voicemail there until YOU are ready to deal with it. Or let him keeping calling the cel phone you currently use. And use that like "the ex answering machine" and deal with it only when you feel like it. Get a different cel for to you use for your real life. You know... the one he is no longer a part of.

Do not allow him to text your cel and bust in on your life and work whenever he pleases. You aren't on his digital leash where he can yank any time he wants!

"My divorce paperwork is very clear. His visitation is on Saturday and Sunday on agreed times at my home, over night visits are at the descretion of mother. "

Good for you! At farm only when supervised, forget sleepover. You can't tell daughter she's important to you and then keep leaving her in the care of an unreliable babysitter even if he is the dad. That's bad for self esteem. Like...

"Dad doesn't care about me so he leaves me alone careless when babysitting. Mom doesn't care because she leaves me with Dad."

You are doing the right thing. Hang in there!

A.

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