"Don't throw the baby out with the bath water" is a "saying" (meaning if something is important to you though it might not be perfect its well worth keeping)which probably really dates me but it seems to fit when I think of how can I sanely reach a healthy weight and keep it off in lieu of such a extremely forceful foe as binge eating.

I have been reading, searching for a perfect way to overcome binge eating ( I don't know if overcome is the right word) but I think there is no perfect way and one must find a way you can live with.

I have for years and years thought I must be perfect in the way I eat especially the idea of only eating when your hungry, but I have come to a conclusion, for me that is not possbile. I was raised in a family where food was much more than just nourishment it is was entertainment, happiness and a feeling of belonging which sounds really bizzare. Most of my mother's family were/are heavy. My grandparents had a restaurant for many years and served all the southern comfort foods biscuit and gravy, chicken and dumplings etc..

Only eating when your hungry has been "haunting" me for so long as the only way to deal the binge eating but now I realize if I eat healthy foods it doesn't matter if I eat every two-three hours(mini meals) and I don't get famished its the outcome which is a healthier and happier me.

Thanks so much for listening!

Bonnie

Bonnie - I can relate in so many ways... Every tradition in my family has a 'special' food associated with it. It has been very hard to break the habits. Here is something my grandfather sent me which has helped me:

A schoolmaster once said to his pupils that he would give a prize to the boy who would make the best piece of composition in five minutes on “How to overcome habit”. When the time had expired a lad stood up and said: “Well, sir, habit is hard to overcome. If you take off the first letter it does not change ‘abit’. If you take off another letter, you still have a ‘bit’ left. If you take off still another, the whole if ‘it’ remains. If you take off still another, the whole of it is not used up, all of which goes to show that if you want to get rid of habit, you must throw it off altogether.

Thank you for sharing your struggle and accomplishments... be proud of yourself!!!

I so agree with you both! It's so hard to find perspective...there are lots of times when I want to eat outside of my normal times because I'm bored or slightly sad but there are also times when I'm HUNGRY.

I have to keep reminding myself that eating well is not pass or fail. And if whenever I started a binge I stopped it when the urge had passed and not kept blindly eating until I'd finished whatever I was eating, I would only be a little overweight.

Good luck in figuring this out!!!

Argh, I agree. Perfectionist thinking will not get you very far when losing weight. It sets the ideal bar at an unreachable point (perfection) and then everything under that bar (which is where we all function) becomes failure territory. A person can be really successful operating under that bar. It just includes forgiving yourself when you make a mistake - and we ALL make mistakes, not beating yourself up when you aren't perfect, and making more good decisions than bad ones. I'm glad you're seeing this!!

C.C.

I totally loved your wordage that perfection is the "ideal bar" and since we all are humans we all function under that bar. Even Einstein functioned under that bar!! Thanks so much for that mental image it really helps!!

Aw, I'm glad it helped! As a "failed perfectionist" myself, it is a constant struggle for me to live happily under that bar! But I tell you, it's much more comfortable to have your goals be attainable rather than not...