I met a guy Friday night at the bar. I picked him up (which is completely not like me) and we ended up talking for a really long time. I kissed him before I left but it was just a peck. Anyways the next day he called me, and we went on a date Sunday night. We ended up making out just a little bit, but nothing big. So last night we were supposed to watch a movie together. But it didn't happen. It kind of annoyed me, but its really hard to get together during the week. He wanted to come over but it was late, and I just wanted to go to sleep.

How can you tell when a guy just wants to sleep with you or when he's really interested in you? It's frustrating because I really can't figure it out. We are hanging out again Thursday, but I dont really know what he's thinking.

Hmm that seems like a tough situation!! I've always found it hard to judge exactly what a guy wants, but since he is taking you out on dates, then I would say he wants to get to know you. On the other hand, he did want to come over late at night, so I dunno. But good for you for not letting him turn into a booty call!! I would say just go on some more dates with him and judge from there! Good luck!!

That is tough. My husband actually turned me down when we first started dating, so I KNEW he wasn't in it just for that. Not all guys are like him though. Maybe you should just go with the flow. Take the intimacy slow and if he gets frustrated then you know his intentions. If you really like him, don't you want to get to know him before you go there anyway?

Oh yes i'm not planning on sleeping with him. I'm just worried about it...its just a weird feeling I get.

Usually, it's pretty easy to tell when guys are just after the one thing. Late night phone calls were always a big red flag for me as well as trying to make plans last minute, etc... I think it's a good sign that you have concrete plans for Thursday, though.

I would say it's too early to tell for sure. It's easiest to determine his intentions based on patterns (like, is the conversation always sexual? is it usually really late when you guys talk and there doesn't seem to be a reason? is he overly physical with you? etc). Unless he's either told you flat out that he's either abstinent OR that he'd really like to sleep with you...then you can't know for sure right now.

All guys are different, give him a chance. I know that I've hung out with guys late at night who weren't interested in just that. That might be the only time he really had and still really wanted to see you. If it becomes a regular thing, he might have motives. Give him a chance and see. If it turns out you guys are looking for two different things, no harm done.

It's difficult trying to keep an open mind and also keeping your guard up, but it's best to try.

That is your gut, no? It's usually right!

I agree with Junebug. Having a weird feeling is definitely a sign! Good luck! I wish I had a forum like this when I was dating. What great advice you have gotten!!

i dont know if the weird feelings is because of me, or because one of my guy friends said that kissing him friday night and kissing him sunday pretty much said that i was easy. WTF? but i think it planted a seed of doubt in my head. Plus he's such a nice guy, i just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Well, I agree with Junebug too...as much as I think it can be hard to tell in the begininng...if you have any gut feelings, go with them.

And I don't necessarily agree with your guy friend. Kissing and sex are pretty different. I've made out with a lot of guys I didn't sleep with! Lol. Kissing is just fun ya know.

I agree, see where the conversations turn. If they always end up being about sex, then you know what's really going on.

balls to the wall daisy. ask him. you need to know how invested you should get in this guy. also remember, the ball is not in his court, it's mid court. what do YOU want out of this? it's not all about what HE's thinking and how HE feels and what HE wants. do you really want him? if you do just be like "hey, i like you, where's this going?" it's a frightening prospect but it's better than wondering indefinately. just let the words come out. good luck!

I'm with Calisa. Ask him! That's exactly what I did with my husband (when we first met). I wanted to know what he wanted. Actually we both just wanted to casually date but nothing serious (we were married 9 months later, but that is so not the point!). If he says he really likes you and speaks about dating in a positive way then there you go. If he deflects and talks about "not looking for a commitment" or "not wanting to rush into things" he means "in bed". Plus just because he wants something physical doesn't mean he GETS something physical. Just date casually for a while and you'll find out where his intentions lie. He shouldn't be off put by you asking, not if he's an adult! He'll understand that you wanted to be sure!

PS: Kissing does NOT mean easy. These days JUST kissing on your first dates makes you by definition NOT easy!

It's a gut feeling, I think.
It's kinda funny... I met my boyfriend a little over a year ago.
I took out an add on Craigslist, actually (I'm not ashamed). I was looking for just a fling, some fun, no commitment.
When I fist met him, my initial thought was "no this isn't gonna happen"...
That first date was nice though, he made me dinner (he has his daughter at home so it's hard to get out of the house) and we watched Monty Python (personal favorites of ours) we made out quite a bit. It was nice. I decided to give him a second chance.
For the first few months ALL we did was make out, a little touchy feely. But things would go a little far and I'd FREAK OUT! And come to a DEAD STOP.
I have to give him credit... he kept calling me! After a while he grew on me, and now... I love him to death! I love his daughter too! I can't imagine my life without him!

hmmmm, tough call.
1. YOU picked HIM up at a bar, this can come off as easy. negative
2. you didn't sleep with him, and you only kissed him and didn't give into the heat of the moment. positive.
3. He is still calling you after you didn't sleep with him. positive.
4. you have a funny feeling. negative.

Give it a little time. see how it goes on Thursday, if you get a bad vibe again, then you are probably right about him just wanting to sleep with you. Good luck!