I don't know if this is the most appropriate place to post this but I figured general chat meant anything.
I don't mean to whine but I'm just so down, so miserable, so FRUSTRATED right now. How does a husband have the right to punish a wife as if he's her father and she's 10? How can he block sites like facebook and etc if things don't go his way? How can he expect me to always keep our son out of his hair, hello, there are two parents not just one! But you can't say that to him, he just doesn't care. He just doesn't want to hear it. He is perfect. He does no wrong.
Why does he not have to throw anything away... why can't he wash a single dish? And he's just as unemployed as me, doing computer jobs here and there. So why is he not just as responsible for household things? Why does he come and go as he please but god forbid I want to hang out with a friend? Why is he about to open up a shop soon... but with the help of our landlord, and I'm being cut out of the entire deal?
Why does he seem to resent us so much but yet refuses to agree to getting a divorce? Why is it that in April of 2009, 2 months after marriage, and we were having strain and financial problems and fights, why is it that instead of sticking it out and working it out, instead he found another (MUCH THINNER) girl and threw me and our son out after knowing her 2 weeks then begged me back 2 days later after the girl went back to her boyfriend? Which he denied, claiming he knew he made a big mistake... but months later, the other girl tells me a different story, the story I had always suspected?
Why was I at my mother's house for nearly 5 months while everyone was telling me about him trying to get with other girls, while he would come over and talk about how much he wanted me back? Why is it that in August, after we got back together, it's been getting worse and worse and steadily downhill?
Why have I wasted 4 years of my youth on him? Why do I feel like I can't get out? WHy do I resent him so much but pause at the idea of actually DOING something about it?
I just feel so frustrated and angry and miserable that I could cry tears of abject frustration. I'm so tired of this. I deserve better. I've let him get away with so much stuff that he thinks he can do anything...
I'm sorry for the rant, I'm just sitting here, after being blocked from facebook and blocked from proxies and even yahoo and I want to SCREAM and I didn't know where else to go to rant. I'm not looking for pity or sympathy but I just don't know what to do.