Hello, all!
I thought I should post an introduction as I hope to become an active (and someday successful) member here.
As the subject line says, I'm 345 lbs and pregnant. I'm about 24 weeks along at this point. I'm happily married. I have a one+ year old son, who brings me more joy than I ever imagined possible. We are expecting a little girl in early April.
My last pregnancy had it's share of medical drama, and I'm sure my weight was to blame. I developed pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. Fortunately, my son was born perfectly healthy. My blood pressure and liver enyzmes continued to be elevated. Just as my liver was recovering from the HELLP, we decided to have another child. I managed to lose about 25 lbs before getting pregnant, but certainly not enough to bring me to a healthy weight. Now, I am pregnant and weigh 345. I'm very scared about having complications once again, and worry that we shouldn't have gotten pregnant so quickly. I'm eating as healthy as possible and just praying to we make it to full term without too much drama. My blood pressure, however, has be rising.
I had a revelation in early pregnancy that I absolutely MUST MUST MUST lose weight and get healthy after this baby is born. I owe it to my children to be a healthy mama... I need to be able to keep up with them. Moreover, I don't want to die young and leave them without a mother, and leave my husband to raise our children alone. If my children can't motivate me, I don't know what will.
I've already devised my own diet and exercise program, which I plan to begin after our daughter is born. I'll be meeting with my family doctor to be sort of monitored through the process to make sure I'm staying healthy and keeping on track. I don't plan to start the diet until breastfeeding is well established, though, and I'll need to be mindful of my milk supply until she weens (which, if she is anything like my son, will be at around 12-13 months).
I've been obese most of my life. I had a brief three year period where I joined the world of the "thin". I was eating 500 calories a day for those three years, and had some pretty questionable practices that may have bordered on an eating disorder. That got me down to about 130 -140 lbs, which looked like skin and bones on my frame. Otherwise, I've been obese. 260 lbs when I graduated high school, 220 lbs when I got married, and over the course of a year I gained almost 100 lbs. I was 308 lbs when I got pregnant with my son and I was about 340 lbs going into this pregnancy. Not a good trend.
I picked a goal weight of 200 lbs. I realize this is still overweight, probably technically obese. But, for me, it'll be miles away from where I am now... and significantly healthier. I figure this is a realistic goal. I shouldn't have to starve and eat just 500 calories a day to get there and maintain. I should be able to eat healthy and exercise and reach that goal. It should be doable, is what I'm saying. Once I get there, I can re-evaluate if I think I can lose more weight and be healthier. For now, though, that's about 140 lbs away. I hope I don't gain too much in this pregnancy, but time will tell. So far, I haven't gained much. I'll fill in the starting weight and current weight after delivery (and after I lose that initial post-delivery weight... so maybe a month after delivery I'll fill those numbers in.)
So I guess I am posting this as a way of saying "hello". I'll be hanging out here to get inspiration and, hopefully, offer encouragement to others. Then sometime next year (perhaps early summer or late spring) I'll be "officially" starting my own journey.
I'm very scared about this uphill battle I'm facing. I'm scared I'll fail - and where would that leave me? I know I'll need you all to help me feel motivated and like I am accountable to someone other than myself. It's good to have a place where I can be totally honest about my weight and my experiences.
Thanks for reading any or all of this. Sorry to ramble on! I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone here!