Hello my lovely FC's..here I am again, to grovel.
I honestly dont know how much the weight has crept up now, because I refuse to get on the scale. I feel disgusting. Seriously. My boyfriend has even given me the hint that I need to get this weight off soon..and for once in my life I dont blame him. I am utterly surrounded by this fat suit. I get winded going up the stairs to my office. I sweat profusely even if its not hot outside, just walking to my car. Im pretty used to the challenges of being fat, I really learned to live witht hem, and they almost seemed normal to me, but I am slowly realizing they are not. A laptop computer is supposed to be able to go on your lap..right? well in my case, no..I dont really have much of a lap. I never realized that others had all this space to have items in their lap. I want my right to a lap! I was faced with a serious problem the other day. (this may be TMI..)I NEVER use public restrooms, but I was at my college the other day and had to go..it was an ER..so I went into a stall. Then I was faced with a big problem..umm I couldnt like..wipe. Thats a big problem. It took me a few minutes to maneuver and think..and I broke down and cried. I cant use a dang BATHROOOM anymore!! I had to go out and buy all new jeans because all of mine had these stupid slits in the inner thighs from wearing out..nice, new jeans..ruined. I dont even want to do um..things with my fiance anymore, because quite frankly it takes more effort and its hard to breathe and gets very uncomfortable, and really, not enjoyable. This lifestyle is out of control, Im so over it. I need to stop this, and start over. I NEED to..or else Im digging my own grave.
so there it is..Im here again, groveling at your feet 3fc..help?
~me