kayleystar - I used to dread clothes shopping as well. I remember when I could only order online and you know you don't have that much variety. I hate most of the clothes I would wear as they had no style, nothing like what I like. Now I can get things that I do like, but not 100% there yet if that makes sense. I mean I have a certain style and in some ways I"m also finding my style too, but I have more options. I'm also not afraid to try things on now, in fact I have to as that is the only way to get a proper fit. lol. I can only order a few things online now... I enjoy it now, except for the pricing of items. I find certain stores are so expensive. I mean I can't honestly bring myself to spend $40 bucks on a teeshirt. Not gonna happen lol.
Pink - I have a different set of issues than you do. My issues stem from years of abuse from my parents, aside from my Mother who passed away when I was a teenager. When I was finally able to get away from that physically, I didn't realize at the time that I was actually still "there" emotionally. I started to pack on the weight and I know know why I did it, I basically created a giant wall of fat to HIDE myself, my true self. I emotionally and binge eat too, so being as big as I was, yes I totally felt misunderstood, disliked, and more so because of my physical appearance. I still do sometimes, though not as often I as I used to. Part of my healing process is literally working on my issues, really working on them and thus that means I am shedding my fat wall little by little. I really believe that for most of us that our weight is the result of something else, other than just eating bad foods. We have our core issues, no matter what or how they came about. Do I feel alone? Yes, I do actually at times. Do I feel sorry for myself sometimes? Yes. Do I feel anxious? Yes... I'm often plagued by nightmares, old memories haunting me, and the thing is as I work on myself physically and emotionally things ARE getting better. When I do feel empty or scared or lonely, I talk about it with you all or I talk about it with people who are close to me. I also feel restless at times and have a hard time "staying still." In those moments when I can't sleep or whatever I often go and watch a movie on my computer, you know the drag yourself out of bed thing, and calm down a bit. Usually I get that way if something is troubling me or if I've had a bad nightmare. Movies and entertaining myself calm me down a bit. I even watch horror movies or just do something to take my mind off of things. Now that helps me, that may not help you because your situation is different. The way I cope and deal with things may not be for everyone, I avoid therapy (bad experiences with that) and work on my issues in my own way. However, therapy, if you choose, could benefit you if you feel you need something more to help guide you. I think when we all get on our journeys we start seeing that the real work happens inside of us. We all have our core issues, some are conditions we carry around, others have been abused or had something happen to them. Learning how to really see ourselves and cope and grow is, to me, what this journey is all about. Plus being able to do things and see the weight come off and SEE ME! The real ME is exciting and terrifying, but wonderful.
I hope you are feeling some of that excitement too as you shed your weight. You're doing great! *HUGS*
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Well...lol..my boyfriend poked fun at me last night. I said how I've been trying to get this exercising thing and he was like "uh huh" and I went "look I've been going at it for awhile now....for three days in a row!" and he just lost it laughing lol. I have to admit I was cracking up myself and I went "no no, I mean to say, I did exercise last week and I was like active" and he just said I should get an award for THREE DAYS of exercise! lol.
Okay okay, so I have issues with the exercising lol. Clearly...but I am determined to do it EVERY DAY no matter how friggin' sore I am and I am sore lol. I'm not gonna wear my wrist weights on my walk today, my upper body is really getting a workout lol. My goal this week is to just do it every day and then next week for six days and for longer. I figure an hour a day will benefit me as I don't have the time to really do more anyhow.
I need to get to the health food store today. I have to get some more turmeric pills. I'm seeing that they are working...even my scalp is better. I take 2000mgs a day and I believe it is working for my HS and I hear people take it for other autoimmune diseases. I do feel better and have noticed the flare ups are a bit better. I'll continue to see if it is working. I'm also thinking of adding more garlic to my diet as that is a natural antibiotic. Something for me to think about.
Foodwise, I'm doing okay. Had severe cravings last night for mini-cupcakes (i think i mentioned them yesterday too) and got so fed up with it that I walked into my kitchen, grabbed my raw honey and had some. WOW did that help.
So naturally sugary that I was satisfied and I didn't eat much. I had like a teaspoon.
I'm going to do that again when I get a sugar craving. I read about a raw foodist who did that when she wanted something sweet and it does the trick!
Hope everyone is well!