Today I went for a doctor's visit. She was shocked and congratulated me on my weight loss. I thanked her and told her I was having a hard time losing the rest, to get to my ideal weight of 130. Here's the conversation:

Doctor: Hold on missy, what you think is your ideal weight may not match up to what we think it should be.
[She took her little circular dial out of her drawer and asked for my height.]

Doctor: Ah ha, See here missy, according to my calculations it says you're at your ideal weight, I would have to nag you if you lost anymore weight.

Me: According to your device from what weight to what weight is ideal?

Doctor: Umm, 150-138 If you want to go to 130, you'd be going way too low.

Me: That doesn't make sense because everything I read says that my ideal weight (for my height and build) is between 125-140. Since I was at 130 before I had kids, that's where I want to end at.

Doctor: Well things change, your body is much different then the time before you had children. That ideal weight no longer fits you.

Me: Well, everything I've read says that I'm over weight.

Doctor: Nope, you've had kids so that doesn't apply to you anymore.


In the end she did say "well you know its up to you, I know that after you have children you want to be where you were before you had them. But in all honesty, you'll never get that body back." I just did the polite thing, smile and thought "I'll show you."

Again, I wonder why does our society think that when you have children you're supposed to have this mommy figure. But yet on the flip side, people hassle you about how cute your body was before. Make up your minds people!!!!

That's my rant for the day.

How does the fact that you've had children in any way determine your ideal weight? That makes no sense.

I can understand how that would frustrate you. Personally, though, I think it's great that your doctor isn't blindly following the bureaucratically decided BMI scale (but even according to that you're only 3 pounds into the overweight category).

Try to take it as a positive. You're now medically approved "healthy". That burden is lifted. It's all aesthetics from here on out. We all diet so we can get healthier and be around for our kids, our spouses, etc. Now, it's just for you, which can be quite empowering.

I know it's hard to not take peoples comment to heart. I don't believe all the hype about the charts and what a dial said you should weight. You know what feels right for you. And who says that you can't have your pre-pregnancy body back. What about the woman who doesn't gain during pregnancy and looks amazing the next day, or is that a special circumstance {I think not}. I was fat before I had my kids, I was fat after I had my kids and looked smokin' about 3 years after having my youngest, the lowest weight in my life {Too bad I gained some back}. Anyway point is....take it with a grain of salt....smile and nod, then go back to doing what you feel is right!!

Here's my take on it...

1) Congrats on the weight loss. That's awesome.
2) Congrats on the fact that your Dr is telling you that you don't need to loose any more weight.....I hope to hear that some day.
3)You know best where you want to be. You know when you are at a weight where you feel healthy and beautiful. When you feel healthy and beautiful, that is your magic number. It's not determined by a chart or anything but by how you feel(as long as you aren't thinking that you have to be as skinny as a runway model at 105 dripping wet.)
4) You have done great. Good job!

Congrats on your weight loss and on being at a healthy weight! That's fantastic!

I agree with what others have said - you know where you want to be and your body will tell you when it's at a comfortable weight. Keep at it and listen to your body!

Good job!

Sorry--I expect I'll take flak from this--but I agree with your doc. [ducks and covers]

I see many folks on 3FC set their goal weight too low, and then end up in a constant battle to try to maintain that weight, assuming they can get there. Only you can decide, of course, what you want to do.

If I were in your position, I'd try to get to 140 and see how that goes. I might even just maintain there for awhile. And then you can decide whether you are up to the effort of going lower.

Jay

I kind of have mixed emotions about what most people consider low weight. For me, when I weighed 130 I actually had a six pack. I was in the greatest shape of my life (Keep in mind I was a gymnast with a coach, PT and dietician). Most people think that is too skinny for someone (male) 5'8". Now my goal is 150 and people still tell me that that is too low. I don't put much faith in those weight charts and I believe that people are TOO different to compare them to a standardized chart.

I try not to let comments discourage me. I am going to get to my goal weight of 150 regardless. So, I just let it slide off of my shoulders and move on. It's my body after all.

I have had two doctors tell me I didn't need to lift more than 10 pound dumbbells because I'm a woman. It's enough to drive ya crazy! You just go right along and go back in for your next physical with a huge smile on your 130 pound body.

thanks everyone.
LOL Jennifer, I just bought 10 lb dumb bells a week ago.

when I was 130, it was after having my oldest dd1 (19 yrs old), I was that weight for many years. I've been lower where it was way too thin. when I finally landed on 130, it was my most healthiest weight, I was fitting in a size 8 jeans "Then" todays sizes are much bigger. So now-a-days that would be a size 4. Scary. LOL
I was at a perfect weight, not too big but then not too small. All my life I was thin but not super skinny. To go under that weight would scare me, I like having hips and a butt.

I think it's good she said your weight is OK now - you no doubt are a healthy weight now and it's godo she didn't want to push you to lose more just to be within what the chart says. Mayeb the children thing is to allow for lose skin or mayeb for a percentage of bodies which may not be able to go back to what they used to be so easily?

I don't think it's good she said you can't do it. If it's OK for yoru frame then I still dont' see why the lowest weight allowed within a normal BMI wouldn't be OK for you and she shouldn't be tryign to discourage you. I think to just gently say she's happy you are now at a healthy weight, if you want to consider staying there, or if the last lbs don't come off don't worry would of been more appropriate. I'm not at the point of deciding, but what weight to get down to is surely a very personal thing.

Your ideal weight may or may not correspond what the tables say. I don't agree with the BMI, but it's pretty standard in medical practice. I have no idea what her little dial is based on.

But, she's at 150 and her doctor said that should be her goal weight. That's not exactly the same thing as working towards 140 and re-evaluating.

The doc said the range was 138-150. That's what I meant.

Jay

A sad reality is that more people are struggling towards unreasonable goals, than would be unmotivated by a doctor saying they're "fine" the way they are.

Even if the goal is reasonable, but far away the stereotypical reaction to frustration is to feel "what's the use, I'll never get there so I might as well give up." I suspect that it's one of the top reasons that weight loss stats are so dreadful - only reaching the goal weight is seen as success, and anything less (even by a pound or few) is complete and utter failure.

If you're more motivated to continue beyond "good enough," that's awesome, but I think that your doctor's advice would be encouraging for more people than discouraging. As I think it's far less likely that a person who wants to go the extra mile will be discouraged by their doctor saying "hey you're doing great, as you are," than it is for someone who is frustrated and afraid they can't do better to hear "what you've accomplished isn't good enough."

Go the extra mile because you want to. Your doctor saying that you don't have to, shouldn't deter you from that (nor do I think she deserves harsh criticism for saying so).

However if she truly called you "missy," especially multiple times, I would take issue with THAT (unless your name is Missy).