So yesterday I went over to my mom's place to have dinner and spend some hard earned family time (it's not easy to get time out of my life these days to drive an hour away to visit) and my mom decided to pull out the vacation videos from last summer's awesome Disney vacation.

Meaning me before weight loss. Probably only about 10lbs into my weight loss (that same 10lbs that I gained and lost and gained and lost again over a period of 2 1/2 years, ), anyways.

And oh. my. GOD.

What was I thinking being that big?!

How could I have possibly thought that that was "ok" for so long.

I looked so pasty, bloated, and even sick looking.... uncomfortable... busting out of my own skin... I could literally go on and on and on.

Other than the shock I got from this moment... one thing I can definitely say....

*cue Scarlet O'Hara-esque moment*

... I will NEVER, EVER, EVER... let myself be that again!!!!


Seriously, if feeling great/amazing/healthy doesn't cut it for someone.... just look back on your old photos or home videos of yourself... and I SERIOUSLY doubt that you'll EVER let yourself slide back into that.... jeez. Now I'm burning even MORE to push myself harder and crazier, but I'm going to keep reminding myself that this kind of thing doesn't happen over night, at least not doing it the right way....

I never see the difference until I look at an old picture of myself. Be proud of how far you've come! Way to go!

I wouldn't let people take pictures of me, so I have nothing to compare to. I wish I did, though. Yesterday I was trying on jeans at the store and I stood there in my undies, looking at my reflection. I still see the same body that I saw 47 pounds ago....same jiggly, loose stomach, same fat, lumpy things. I can see by the tags on the clothes that I'm smaller, but the image looks the same. So yeah, I wish I had pictures because in my mind, sometimes it seems that I haven't changed at all.

I understand how you're feeling. I took no "before" pictures or measurements of myself before I started my weight loss. Yesterday I saw a picture of myself from five years ago and was so shocked. What a motivator to continue on in maintenance!

Starfishkitty, you will not only reach your goal, but you won't go back either!

I had very few photos of myself. You could say that being so heavy made me camera shy. Anyway, I had to purposely take a photo when I started my journey just to have something to look back on. I look misshapen, bloated, distorted, out of whack, miserable, sad, etc.... I too look at it and think, how in the world could I have let this happen? Why was I settling for a life like that? I despise that picture. It's a picture of someone out of control, indifferent, irresponsible and it's just so SAD to see someone like that. Especially since that someone is/was ME. But I never ever want that picture to be far out of reach from me. I ALWAYS want to have it around to remind me of where I never want to be again and what can easily happen if I'm not mindful of my food intake.

You and me both. You and me both. No way. No how.

I have to look at my 'before' pictures every so often too. Because there are times when I dont think I look any different. Obviously I have to, I mean, I dont wear a size 26 anymore. But its just taking time for my brain to catch up!

You are right to be proud!

I'm proud of you starfishkitty! YOU are a true inspiration to me and you're most of the reason why I'm changing my lifestyle and wanting to lose weight now too! <3 I have to say that you DO look so much healthier and happy! GOOD FOR YOU SIS!

I'm gonna keep trying!

Good for you! Sometimes that is the best motivation, and encouragement when you are feeling down. It can be easy to forget how horrible you felt in the past, so it's good to give yourself a reminder once in a while. Keep up the great work!

Good for you!!!!