oh Jilly you are right.. sometimes I just want to SNARK.... and I surely can't snark here....

I just had to jump in here and add my 2c. worth for my friend.

I've known you for a long time, Nessa, even met you IRL, and you are one of the nicest, sweetest, caring people I know!

well hello Cottage...

thanks so very much! I am realizing more and more I over reacted to being attacked. I'm way more sensitive than folks think.

thanks!

Hey Nessa I just had to jump in add my agreement to much of what has already been said. Yeah, you tell it like it is and you can have a wicked sense of humor (which I very much appreciate ) but I have never seen you being mean to anyone. And a "lowlife? Give me a break. I look forward to seeing your name pop-up, even followed you here just to see what you were up to

Been in a few dust-ups myself over the years (try to act surprised). Hopefully if you don't feed her she will find something else to rant about. Some people just use the internet to vent their RL frustrations and some people I wouldn't give the time of day to in RL so why bother online.

I don't know anything about the other board but I know it would be really diminished if you left.

I've had a couple hateful pms (none here). Only once was really bad. I tried to "make nice" with the person and apologize and try to see her side, but the more I tried to be nice, the more she attacked, and it became really clear that the woman was just a complete nutcase.

I've never seen a hateful post from you, and I can't imagine you doing so. Some people do feel that any disagreement is an attack, but people who go off the deep end, often have mental health issues.

In my head a "borderline personality disorder" alarm goes off when I encounter that kind of response. I'm NOT saying that a mental health diagnosis can be made in response to an online post, but it's a gut reaction bbecause when I worked in the mental health field it was such a classic (and dramatic) symptom. For people with the disorder, everyone is either their bestest friend in the universe, or their worst enemy/satan himself.

For a reasonable person, feeling pure hatred coming from someone is a very uncomfortable feeling, and the natural response is "what did I do?" but the answer is nothing, this is all in her head, not yours.

Even having the degree behind me knowing all of this, when it happened to me on the boards, I pm'd bunches of people on the group, asking if I had been out of line. I got the same advice you're getting now, some people are just nutburgers (the "clinical term" of course).

NESSA?!!?!!?!!? WOW, that situation is nutty! You can't have that many opinions floating around a site and not have tentions, I guess. I've had them here and there but I just try to let things go.

Don't ever let go of the thing that's most valuable...you're supportive, kind and funny! Now, look at the 12+ remarks here and weigh the importance of them against one PM. You're loved and they are wrong, honey...that's the long and short of it.

I think the worst PM I got here was "honey, you need a new bra, that one's doing nothing for ya!!!" hehehehehe