Well, just like all of you here, I've come for some motivation and support. I've never been on any forum before, but thought I'd try something new since these days, I've been feeling SUPER unmotivated. I've decided (for the millionth time) that I want to get rid of the extra weight, that even though I enjoy a vast array of foods (and lots of it!), in the end, I really just want to be truly happy with what I see in the mirror. I'm hoping that being able to communicate with others in the same situation will help me in reaching my goals. And I'm sure my boyfriend doesn't want to hear me whine about how many carbs I've eaten or that I hate myself because I had a piece of cake anymore. I'll just have to start whining to you guys now. Haha. Seriously, I'm sure you guys will be more understanding of the need to express the feelings that come along with the slip-ups... as well as the triumphs.
To make a long story as short as I can, about 3.5 years ago, I was at my heaviest: 189 lbs. I try to blame the weight gain on an unhappy marriage at the time, but really, I think I just got way too comfortable, ate too much because I liked to, then realized one day, after several hurtful comments and jokes about the weight, and the fact that my clothes just did not look right on me whatsoever anymore, that yeah, I was pretty fat. The initial weight loss didn't happen right away. I got divorced first, and then when I was single, I felt like I should and could start over. My goal was to get back to my pre-marriage weight, which was about 140 lbs. So anyway, I lost the first 30 lbs. in 3 months, from just cutting down on my portions. No exercise. I was eating the same stuff, just less. And it worked! In retrospect, those 30 lbs. were easy to lose. So then I was 160 lbs., and for a few months of not eating so well, the weight crept back up to 167. I guess that was the day I weighed myself after I hadn't in a while, and was like, "Holy crap! I'm gaining weight again! Noooooo!!!" And on top of that discovery, I had been feeling somewhat motivated to lose the rest of the weight to better attract the opposite sex. Hey, I was just a single girl wanting at least one guy to think I was pretty. Who doesn't want to feel pretty, right? So anyway, with a renewed sense of motivation, a diet of about 1500 calories a day, and 5 days a week at the gym, I lost 25 lbs. in a little over two months. Yes! I had reached my goal! I couldn't believe it! After I got down to 140, I still wanted to be thinner, but I was pretty much comfortable with being 140 for a while. Which made me a little too comfortable, made me think that I could have another slice of pizza... and that bag of Oreos... and the chips dipped in sour cream! And so, as most of you may have experienced, one day it's just like BAM! You're fat again! I had gained 15 lbs. I wasn't at 140 for long at all, and yet again I thought 'Must lose this weight. Must lose this weight.' So in about a month, going to the gym 30 minutes/day, 7 days/week and on a low carb diet for the first 2.5 weeks of that month, I lost 13 lbs. I was feeling kinda sexy again. I was amazed at how quickly I lost it. I thought to myself, 'This is the last time I'm gonna lose weight that I've already lost before.'
Did it happen? Nope. Gained 23 lbs. back. And this time I was in a relationship again, which I think was the main cause of it. I got comfortable again, didn't feel like I needed to attract anyone anymore, stayed in a lot with him, etc etc... you know how that goes. Then miraculously, after many discussions with the bf that I want to get back to the weight I was when he met me (yet doing nothing about it), and after numerous failed attempts, I did lose some weight. Did the diet and exercise thing for a month and a half, and lost 4 lbs., which I was a little disappointed with because I remember I had lost weight much more rapidly before. I realized it was probably all the yo-yo dieting, and that did make me a little discouraged because I knew this time I had to work way harder. Then after that month and a half, did the South Beach Diet thing with exercise for two weeks, and lost 7 lbs. Yay!
But guess what? Due to several circumstances that I'd probably just use as excuses, I gained back those 7 lbs. And now I'm here, at 164 lbs., and totally need to make some changes for the last time. (Oh god, I hope it's the last time) And I must admit, my weight gain during my current relationship has put a strain on it at times due to my extreme insecurities from not looking the way I want to. So this time, I really have to believe I can do this. I need to make my relationship the best that it can be, as well as make myself the best I can be, because I want to be able to truly love who I am.
Well, that was a really long post. I know I said I'd make it short. Sorry! But thanks for reading and I look forward to documenting my weight loss journey here, with people who seem really positive and supportive, and who can share their experiences and advice with me.
-Julie
Welcome!