As I have written over the last several weeks, I started seeing a personal trainer and while there have been many changes in my body I love and I like having her there at the gym, there has been many frustrations as well.
On tuesday we did an entire 1 hr session of eliptical, stepper, and treadmill. Prior to hiring the trainer, I had done several 1+ hrs on the treadmill doing HIIT, hills, or random cardio routine. Once with the trainer, she got me off the treadmill to the eliptical and stepper, starting out with 5 mins each and moving up. Prior to tuesday, during my own sessions I had gotten up to doing 15 mins on each the eliptical and stepper in the same session so doing 20 mins on each of the machines was not a stretch or something that I needed the coaching or encouragement.
So after the session, I asked her what she was looking for and her answer was that we did it because she said so and she's the trainer (I wrote alot more in that email asking alot of whys). This has resulted in me feeling like this trainer doesn't trust me. We've had a few email exchanges and have yet to conclude if we will meet on Friday (which was to be our last session of the bundle purchased).
Since her response to why the aerobic work out, I have been very emotionally down. It was very hard for me to go to the gym today and I didn't even make it through the routine before I said f**** to myself and left. I have not binged, which is a plus - but actually, I've kinda had to force myself to eat. I can't quite figure out why am I having such an emotional roller coaster response to all this and what I need to do to pull myself out of the funk. It all just kinda feels pointless (at the moment). Part of me knows it is not - just seems hard to hold onto that feeling.