We are on vacation and I am dropping in to say "I am recommitting to this journey". So far I haven't stayed OP while on vacation. I am getting ready to do my 4 mile walk to help motivate myself.

Glancing through everyone's posts and seeing your losses (CONGRATS!!!) is great motivation. Keep it up!

Good Morning ladies, wow it's been busy, yet again!

Jacque - I was in Ontario visiting dh's grandma and sister, cousins, etc. And holy crap on those bikini pictures WOW, i'm speechless and that doesn't happen much, or ever, big congrats!

LINLUV - those suck, you can do it, you'll get it and it will be twice as good!

Tracy - Wicked awesome fantastic, you're almost at 20lbs too!

Delphi - There are no words my dear, other than I hope you find some answers and can find some space to make the right choice and you know him best so I have no doubt you will. Hang in there sweetie and I wish I was closer you sound like you need a lot more than a cyber hug.

NSM - Always busy when company comes but after all the lawn mowing yesterday I'm profoundly stiff so a nice built in day to relax while I recover. Hope you caught up to your day!

LaurenA - Glad you're back in the saddle again, I know you'll do great and WTG on planning your gym time so well that'll help, it's hard to eat poorly when you need all that extra energy. Good attitude my dear that 1lb doesn't stand a chance!

Mystical - Good luck with that trainer, that's an awesome resource to have but yup, chances are, Thursday is gonna hurt but at least you'll get your monies worth. Chances are with just eating better meals he'll lose weight in no time, men do have a knack for dropping those pounds. I love how parents throw out that, you didn't get that from me, like being heavy is entirely hereditary. I always thought, sure I may not of inherited your butt but I sure as heck learned to eat my feelings away from you! My mom was a guilt feeder but skinny! Good luck with that, I'm sure he'll be inspired by your success!

LTBH - Well almost happy birthday! And that goal is very doable so keep on truckin and you'll be there in no time!

LE - At least you've been working out, the food will come. The pilates is crazy I must agree, how they make it look so easy! I'm determined to find out though, practice, practice. And if Jacque is any indication it does wonders for that body!

Jacqui_D - I'm with you on the green tea, every night but I'm all for the grassy taste, my dh bought me this loose leaf kind from the chinese market and I'm hooked now.

LTHG - on the almost half pound, you may be late to the game but you're making up ground pretty fast! Oh and Delphi posted a really awesome article on scale numbers and weight fluctuations in last months thread. It really brings home all those days when we're up some weight for "no reason."

Cmo4 - Your mother said to get your workouts in And mom knows best. Hope you're having a blast!

Glutio - Just awesome, nothing like shopping in our own closets! And another big awesome on the weight, it's amazing what 13.4 lbs does, you look fantastic!

Ruby - yes that food is pretty crazy but we all used to feel like that all the time, it's hard to believe and now for only one day it sure can remind you. Good job getting back to the good stuff and keep pounding that water!

Lene - This holiday is brutal, it seems a lot of folks had a hard time, sometimes it pays to be Canadian I guess . But Friday is aways away no doubt you'll be back to fighting weight by then!

Petunia - Welcome to the most fabulous place on earth, next to the circus of course, but then again it can be a circus around here too. Post often so we get a chance to know you!

Melrose - on 190's Being that we're the same height, it's something like 185 I think and then we're just overweight, how sweet to just be a bit heavy instead of super heavy, only 5 more pounds!! WTG.

Nellonello - you go this and you know how, enjoy that walk and talk care of yourself!

That took an hour! We had a bit of a change in plans, our houseguests didn't make it for dinner and ended up calling at 9:30pm totally drunk saying they won't make it until today at noon. Dh's friend even commented that he couldn't wait until we had my famous turkey burgers tonight and I took great pleasure in telling him that he would be eating the hoards of leftovers from the dinner they missed, grrrr. And drunk ppl just irritate me anyway, he didn't stand a chance.

The new plan for today is to glare at company when they arrive, eat leftovers for dinner and hide the booze in my house, should be fun. But sadly or not I'm a hopeless forgiver so I'll give them a pass after I let them know how to use a telephone at a more appropriate time.

As is always the case with me, I didn't want to work out today b/c I'm a tich sore from 2 1/2 hours of lawn mowing yesterday but after reading everyone's stuff, which is sure more challenging than my silly yesterday I think I might go and find that elliptical and do my HIIT instead of taking the day off.

Thanks for ligthing the way ladies! Oh and I totally forgot down another pound today, 194 and one pound away from 30lbs gone in less than 2 months, OMG! How funny that I can actually forget that now, wow times have changed!

I know I didn't check in yesterday, I was really good on food, and did get my walk in. I was upset because I was up .2 yesterday morning, but this morning I was down that same .2. I don't know what I did differently but it is nice to be down finally.

I did read the posts, but I don't have to do personals right now, except Delphi, you are amazing. I cannot imagine what you must be going through. My thoughts are with you. You are a very strong woman, things will be okay.

Hi,
I am trying to do some cleaning while mesmerized by the Michael Jackson memorial on TV.
I will be back later to chat!

No time for personals, but wanted to check in. We didn't end up bringing the laptop since this place doesn't have a good wi-fi connection. I'm on one of 2 community computers so I'm keeping it short. I've been EXTREMELY active, but food hasn't been great. Every family provides a meal, so I have very little comtrol about what is served and it has proved to be more challenging than it should be. Tomorrow I will NOT cave in to eating a full serving of something that is full of fat and/or calories....though it tastes mighty fine! I will keep on doing tons of activities to offset my mistakes and will be eating more salad and less main dish stuff, I guess. I've done well saying no to desserts at least! Hope everyone is well...I wish I could read and catch up with everyone! I miss you guys, but we're having a really good time. Oh yeah, and I MUST drink more water...made that mistake yesterday too, darn it!!

Thanks...can't believe I actually posted them.

DH is making me nuts. I was doing something earlier and he was mostly wandering around the house instead of doing anything productive. He actually stopped by where I was to tell me we needed to be in the cleaning phase this weekend. Um, hello? Where have you been? I just bleached and scrubbed the entire freaking bathroom this morning while dealing with the painters, moving boxes around, getting things ready to go on the front of the house, doing laundry, and vacuuming. And *we* need to be in the cleaning phase this weekend? This from the man who hasn't actually packed ONE WHOLE BOX in the last 8 days, who told ME last Tuesday it was "day 2 and we hadn't done anything," who is STILL GOING THROUGH THE SAME BOXES HE WENT THROUGH LAST WEEK just because I moved them into a different room, who spent 6 hours on Sunday piddling around the house and shredding paper (oh, and going to the bathroom twice).

But, like I said, the painters came today and I think they actually finished the house. It looks pretty darn spiffy if you ask me. I picked out a different color for the front door (a burnt orange kid of color) and started painting that myself after I got home from a 4 and a half hour dental cleaning (a friend from junior high is in hygienist school, so I went to see her and for some reason it took an INSANE amount of time).

I'm really not feeling like doing anything else. I'm just plain freaking exhausted.

Oh, look, DH is piddling around staring at things again. Why am I so freaking frustrated? Oh, yeah, because his lack of packing has 3 rooms in complete disarray right now.

Someone shoot me, please.

Please.

Please.

Ok, I'mana go do something now I suppose.

Hey ladies! I am home for a shower, clean clothes and some peace of mind. Canaan had the video broc today and it pretty much confirmed that in order for him to breathe, he will have to have the Trache. So I come home, to clear my thoughts, get a good nights sleep and hopefully, when I get back to the hospital in the morning, I will have made my decision with a clear head. You reach a point when you say, when is enough enough? Do you keep prolonging what is inevitable? Moreover, what are the reasons you do that? Because YOU can't let go or because it is in Canaan's best interest? It's a catch 22 I find myself in.

I weighed myself when I come in about eight this evening and I'm at 198 even. I've waited to get to ONEderland for so long and you know I didn't even flinch or get excited or anything. I couldn't even enjoy it. I just feel depleted, exhausted and emotionally drained. I just wanted to pick up my precious Canaan and bring him home. I just hope I can get some sleep knowing he is in that cold hospital all alone. But I had to get out of there. There was no way I could make this decision confined to the childrens hospital. Emotionallly, I'm a wreck and I needed to see my children and feel comfort. I can still hear him, crying though. I can here his breathing and my heart just breaks for him and all that he has endured and I can't help but to feel angry. Why must any child endure so much? He has already been robbed of any chance of normalcy or life, so why must he endure so many trials. Why not me? I'm falling apart...but, I'm gonna pray and just ask for the strength, because Lord knows I need it. I have this ache in my heart that simply wont go away.

Thanks for all the well wishes ladies and for letting me vent. I wish you guys the best and please keep my dearest Canaan in your thoughts.

Delphu\i ~ Oh, I can not imagine what you are going through. It's good that you came home to recharge, see your other kids, and (try) to get a good night's sleep.Of course you are drained, put your weight out of your mind for now and concentrate on your little guy. There is time for diet and fitness when you bring him home. I used to work in a NICU and those nurses are awesome. They will take good care of Canaan. My wish for you is that you get a good nights sleep, and are able to bring him home soon. Hugs to you, my new friend.

Just checking in quickly--

Delphi~ oh if I could just come over and give you a giant hug I would! Hun, you're right, no child should have to endure so much and no mother should either. I will be praying for both of you. I am so sorry that you're faced with such a tough decision, I don't know what else to say. Bless you for being so strong and for being such a wonderful mother! Congrats on making it to Onederland--I wish it could have been under happier circumstances, but I didn't want to let it go without mentioning, kwim? Big hugs hun, and take care! We're here if you need us!

Not doing fantastic eating wise, we've been running around and ate out today (at a wonderful Mexican restaurant with zero low cal/fat options), I'm trying to watch my portions, so I'll keep my fingers crossed. Sunday night I slipped, had cruddy cake and worked out to make up for it on my day off. Good thing because I got so tired last night after we got in that I skipped my workout--so I guess yesterday was my day off this week. Got my workout in today, plan getting up early tomorrow for my cardio.

Okay, must get going. I can't wait to catch up on personals when I get back! Hope everyone is having a wonderful week!!

Be sure to Drink Your Water Girls!!

Oops ! Delphi!

Okay, here is my day: Stayed OP dietwise, BUT, as far as exercise, my bad. I got home from work, changed into my workout clothes, and was headed to the gym when my youngest asked for a ride to her friend's. Okay, we stop at the grocery to rent a video and to buy (her) some Nilla Wafers. I had put short socks on, and the little bit of walking was hurting my heel. So we're headed east to her friend's, when she gets a call, back to another friend's in the opposite direction. Okay, no biggie. Except, I'm thinking " My tennies are at least 5 years old. Maybe that's why it is so hard for me to walk longer than 5 mintues. I wonder if Kohl's is having a sale?" Kohl's is right around the corner, so I head there. I found a $56.00 pair of shoes for $27.00 (and a pair of sunglasses for $7.00). SCORE!! Trader Joe's is on the way home so I bop in there and get some oranges, lettuce, tomatoes, almonds, mushrooms, and --- wine. I love trying cheap wine So I get home with every intention of doing some cardio in the pool, but it is COLD! Lame excuse, I know. I read the paper and watered the plants and never got my cardio in. I am feeling so ashamed! I am thinking I will call this a rest day and skip it next week, but who knows what will come up next week? I feel like such a failure. what with my .4 gain today ( I know-no biggie). I really think that PMS is rearing its ugly head for the first time in a looongtime. Sigh...

Okay, enough of that. You all need to join me in nagging Sandye !~Stay with the plan!!!!


GLUTIO Try not to kill him!!

Delphi - Prayers for you and your son. You will make the right decision.

Delphi.

We can't do that but I hear your frustration. Men (especially husbands) can be such a**es!!! That's why I got rid of mine Like the ones that I am not married to better.


Delphi



I know you are going through a very tough time and I know you will make the right decision. You are a strong woman!!!

Still thinking of you daily...congrats on hitting ONEderland...I just hope you are not making YOU sick through all this. You have to keep your strength up for Canaan!!