I wans't going to post this, and have written this post about 15 times and deleted it every time. But here goes nothing...
I got some pretty crappy news a couple of days ago.
In 2003, I was diagnosed with a pituitary microadenoma (prolactinoma). This is a non-cancerous but tumerous growth on my pituitary gland which is considered "small". Your pituitary gland is probably the most important gland in your body, called the master gland of the endocrine (or hormonal) system, and it produces growth hormone, thyroid stimulating hormone, hormones that regulate your adrenal system, and hormones that regulate your reproductive system. It is about the size of a pea and sits in the middle of your head, right at the middle of your skull between your optic nerves.
And I have a darn TUMOR on mine and it produces prolactin (so it is called a prolactinoma).
I've been on meds to control this since it was diagnosed, and it was stable in size for a few years, but last week, I found out that it has INCREASED in size to 8.3 mm (a 35% increase) in the past 18 months. We don't know WHEN it started growing in the past 18 months, and fortunately I'm not having any vision issues yet and it hasn't invaded my brain tissue yet, but I think it is a matter of time. It is benign, but because of its location, it can cause serious health issues including bleeding into the brain, vision damage, vision loss, pituitary gland failure, and diabetes (a form that prevents water absorbtion by the kidneys).
Treatment? Surgery, because the meds are clearly not effective, at some time down the road when this thing grows (probably within the next 2 years). Because in 1.3 mm's time, the odds of removing it completely, without recurrance, go down to 50%. Surgical side effects? Death, bleeding into the brain and those fun side effects, blindness, pituitary failure, premature menopause, and there is often the need to replace the hormones lost as a result of collateral damage to the gland. Gamma knife is possibly an option, but since this is a cystic form (i.e. fluid filled) vs solid, the odds are that I'll need surgery in any event...
And how do they do the surgery? They do a trans-sphenoidal surgery. Which can be visualized as follows: Do you remember the movie "The Running Man" with Ahnuld? Where he goes into that abandoned warehouse, finds a kit, and takes out that huge spear thing, rams it up his nose, grabs onto his embedded tracking device, and pulls it out? Of his nose?? Well, there you have it! Only, I don't think I'll have to do this myself! And the instruments will hopefully be a bit smaller...
OK, so what's my point???
I am a weight loss turtle. It is possibly related to my tumor and to my medication, but I refuse, absolutely REFUSE to use this as an excuse or acknowledge it as a significant factor. It may have been a factor in my weight gain, but I suspect my bag of Doritos a day while sitting on the couch is more of a factor in me reaching my all-time high of 244 lbs. However, this may be why it takes an extraordinary amount of effort to average 5 lbs a month loss. Because given what I eat and what I do, mathematically I should be losing alot more, faster than what I am now. I work for every pound that I lose in a healthful way and am so GRATEFUL that I have a plan I can live with and that works (very very slowly) for me.
If I could DO something to get rid of this tumor, if there was a diet, or an exercise, or SOMETHING I could do to cure myself, I would. I would be all over it. But I can't.
There are those of you out there who have obesity-related conditions including diabetes type II, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, knee/back arthritis, gout, insulin resistance syndrome, and other diseases that can be HELPED with weight loss including PCOS, Insulin Resistance, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. And I must confess that posts that refer to these types of conditions as a reason or a significant factor for not being able to lose the weight drive me, well, bananas.
You have the GIFT of changing your medical future. You can actually do SOMETHING to get well and stay well. I wish I had that gift. But I don't. And that sucks. But I won't use this as an EXCUSE not to change. I will get as healthy as I can, and let G-d take care of the rest. And those of you with the opportunity to heal yourselfs should really think long and hard about what you want to do, with your health, your life, your future because it isn't too late to act. Thank G-d you guys can heal yourselves. No excuses, no rationalizations, no exploration of genetic problems, no grab-bag of conditions related to your obesity that make life hard. Because it really DOES come down to calories in vs calories out. And at least you have the ability to actually cure yourselves...
OK, off my soapbox!
Thanks for listening...
Kira (aka "The Running Gal")
I'm so sorry Kira. I am glad that dispite this bad news you are refusing to give up with your weight loss efforts, that shows me that you are a fighter. You're in my thoughts, keep us updated.
