Quote:
Originally Posted by Athendta
I know that a person who's morbidly obese tends to loose LOTS of weight in the first month or so, more than anyone who's just overweight could lose healthily.
While it's true that some people who are morbidly obese lose a lot of weight in the first months, this is not necessarily true. Setting expectations based on what (some) OTHER people do, isn't a good idea.
Why does it have to be in 2 years, and why does the weight loss have to be fast?
My husband and I both started at over 380 (he is also 6'2", and his highest weight was about 420 lbs).
I've lost over 70 lbs, and he's lost about 90, and it's taken us about three years. We didn't lose most of our weight in the first year, we've both lost most of the weight this past year (I lost about 20 and he lost about 30 in the first year).
I spent decades trying to lose as fast as I could, and I think that was my mistake. I made changes that I couldn't sustain a lifetime, and couldn't even sustain "until I lost all of the weight." I decided that my method of losing weight was backwards, and set me up to fail.
I've had more success this time than ever before. This is the longest sustained downward trend - as I'd never sustained a weight loss or even a weight loss attempt for more than 18 months until "this time."
So, I decided only to make changes that I was willing to make for a lifetime, and see where that would take me.
For us, the effects have snowballed, in that the more we did, the more we found that we were willing to do - so it's not inevitable that the fastest weight loss has to occur in the beginning.
He should be making the weight loss goals, and deciding what he's willing to do, to get there. You've already decided how much you want him to lose and in what time frame. I think you're putting the cart beside the horse. He needs to decide how much (and if) he wants to lose, and what he's willing to change in order to lose it.
You can't lose weight for him, and you can't set goals for him either. He has to decide what (and whether) he's willing to make changes. If he's reluctant to lose weight (as my husband was) gradual changes may actually be much more effective than trying to make huge changes and expect the dramatic weight loss to be so rewarding that he doesn't mind the significant change in his lifestyle.
Weight loss is not as self-rewarding to most men in comparison to women. They're not as wrapped up in the numbers as women are, so fast weight loss is not necessarily seen as a good "trade" for the drastic changes in lifestyle needed to lose rapidly.
For my husband, learing that he could lose weight without drastic changes to his lifestyle was a much stronger motivator (and I found it works very well for me, too), than losing quickly. Finding out that eating healthier didn't have to be horrible, was a very big first step for him.