The catalyst for me was when I was nominated for the Circle of Excellence at work. My worst fear was that I would win, because I would have to be filmed as part of video that would be presented at an awards dinner. The thought of my over weight face on a 12 foot screen basically sent me into a blind panic. Can you believe I actually tried to persuade my Director that I did not feel I should be nominated? They put it down to modesty. I put down to down right embarrassment. Despite (or in spite of) my protests, I won. In reality, this was a huge deal. You are essentially (among others) being recognized as one of the top employees in the company. You are wined and dined for a weekend with a final banquet at the end of it with a picture taken with the Senior VP of your area as well as the CEO. Privately, I received the news with a sinking feeling of dread. What would I wear? Could I avoid the video? Great, now I have to get my picture done. I realized that I was taking something that was meant to be a reward as a punishment. How twisted was that?
I suffered through the weekend without really taking any enjoyment in it. I look back on this now and realize how terribly sad that was (I even have a few tears in my eyes about it now today, reading that last paragraph). Enough was enough.
So, I made the commitment to myself that I needed to lose the weight. I worked with my doctor to build a plan that would work for me. I committed to staying on plan. I committed to only weighing myself at the doctor’s office and not at home. I decided that eating natural, nutritious foods had a much better long term payoff (losing weight) than the short term payoff of eating unhealthy, processed junk food and the short high I would get. I decided not to look at the total amount I had to lose, but look at what I could do in a month. One month, became two, two became three, and so on and so on.
Now a year later, this is where I am now:
*I have lost over 100 lbs
*I am proud of how I look and I am now working on getting a formal picture done of myself
*I kick a$$ at kickboxing and some of the black belts have to keep up with me
*I can now wear high heels (see an earlier post
) and go into normal clothing stores and know that anything I pick out will fit.*I have become an inspiration to people around me
*I have become an exercise junkie and I am forever challenging myself (latest passion – hot yoga)
*No more pain in my knees
*My self esteem is through the roof
*My relationship with food has changed-for me it is now fuel for my body to enable me to do my activities, not a treat. A treat is now new shoes, new clothing, etc.
*I know that people are seeing the person I was meant to be and not just the fat (not that it was the case, but I how I felt)
Those of you that know me and know I have been on this site for while know that I am not usually this verbal. However, I wanted to post some of my insights to help others on their journey.
*I thought it would take FOREVER to lose my weight. It didn’t. It was just a year-that is a drop in the bucket of my life. If I had not lost the weight, I know I would be sitting here now going why did I not just do it?
*My outlook on life has changed-before I thought nothing was possible, now I know anything is possible
*You can do this-for those of you just starting on your journey, know that it IS possible. Make the commitment to yourself.
*Look to others for inspiration-let me mention a few ladies here who have been mine (RockinRobin, cfmama, DCHound to mention a few)
I look forward to where my life is going now, and I can not WAIT to see what is around the bend.
Thank you for sharing your story! AWESOME job you have done taking back your quality of life!!!
