So I just found out late last night that my boyfriends dad has been diagnosed with throat cancer. They have to do more testing before they know more details I guess and whether or not its treatable although my boyfriend told me they think they caught it in the early stages. So as of right now although I don't know much information about it I have been worried and stressed out all day long. I am CERTAIN that smoking cigerettes led to his dad getting cancer. He's been a smoker all his life as has my boyfriends mom, and so also my boyfriend and his younger brother (who all live in the same house together) have been always been smokers...my boyfriend actually didn't start smoking himself until about 4 years ago and hes talked about quitting on several occassions but won't because its his "time and stress filler" although he says its not b/c of being addicted to the tobacco itself. Now I am just concerned b/c I am hoping for one that his dad will stop smoking (but god knows...) and I think that his family should be supportive of him hopefully Recovering and I think they should stop smoking themselves. I espcially now have a lot of concern for my boyfriend, and his smoking, so far I've been living in the here and now and haven't really thought that much about it, but knowing how this is going to impact his life HAS finally made me pay attention. I very much would like it if my boyfriend will stop smoking now. I hope this is his wake up call since my other attempts didn't work out. And I even feel guilty because I've become accustomed to buying him a few packs when he is broke and its become kind of a regular thing. I plan on not supporting his smoking anymore though. If he decides to keep smoking it will totally be all on his own accord of buying for them and paying for them. But than there is the subject that I have always let him smoke around me, in my car and in my apartment and now I am even having second thoughts about how comfortable I am with that. I myself haven't really thought much about the risk of 2nd hand smoke but Now I am.
Now I know I need to be a supportive and caring girlfriend to him at this time in his life, its going to be really difficult seeing his dad suffer...they are very close. So I dont want to lay all of my thoughts on him and anger him and possibly push him away =( So how do I go about letting him know how I feel? I tend to act without thinking and regret later so this time I just hope some of you can weigh in on your advice with how you think I should approach this...I really do not want to lose my boyfriend and I know that if we stay together I will have to compromise with whatever decisions he makes, but I would hope he would compromise a little to...but I just don't know if he would and maybe its to late seeing as how we've been together 9 months and asking him to change now might make me seem like a hypocrit or something? All I know is that if we do last I don't want him to smoke forever and if he ever lived with me, I wouldn't want him to be a smoker at that point...at least not in the house...but I mean really its because I would hope the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with won't die 30 years before me because of a choice to use tobacco when it could have been prevented? I guess I'm just realizing all of this now =( Sorry this was so long...