I hate bringing it up. My DF's parents noticed progress but don't say anything about it. But when DF is like "Corinne doesn't want to eat Burger King, she is watching what she eats", his dad will rant and rave about it. Or if I don't want to go to a restaurant that I know has a bad menu. Majority of the time we go out to eat is with them, and I'm afraid of them saying things so I suck it up and avoid it. But at this rate, I'm fed up with it putting my progress to a halt!

I'm not comfortable with letting people know that I'm trying to lose weight. So instead of telling them 'no I'm watching what I eat,' I just tell them 'no thanks' or that I'm not in the mood for it. No one has caught on to the fact that I'm eating healthier yet. I'm still bad about some desserts, but I'm trying to be cautious of portions. I'll just ask for a small piece. I don't want to completely give them up because I'm afraid I'll binge later.

Ughh, yes, but for me the only thing that makes me not want to eat healthy around my family is because they ALWAYS FREAKING COMMENT ON IT. I feel like there's constant scrutiny of every bite I eat--I never get any peace around them! My entire family has had weight problems, and only my older sister and I have changed our ways (though she was never morbidly obese like I was, just a little chubby, heh)... So I don't know, maybe it just makes them uncomfortable when I make a healthy choice, because they feel like I'm throwing it in their faces that I'm making positive changes in my life?! Um, that's not my problem! But I can't STAND all the comments. I order a salad or something, and everyone's all "Ohh, you're so *good* aren't you? We're so impressed." It just makes me feel like a circus freak--I'm like, you would never comment so excessively on the food choices of someone who hadn't lost weight like this (and *I* would never turn to them and say "Ohh, wow, you're really making a bad decision, aren't you?"), so why is it suddenly acceptable to evaluate every freakin' thing I put in my mouth? SO frustrating.

Then of course, the flip side is that if I do decide to have an indulgence around my family, they have to comment on that, too!! A couple months ago I went to dinner with my brother and I ordered french fries with my meal--not a big deal, right? UM, well apparently it was to him! He acted like it was the most utterly shocking thing he had ever seen--like he's never seen me eat french fries before or something? How does he think I got to be fat in the first place?! He even had the gall to say, "Well, it's nice to see you're not just living off of Special K and water..." Grrrrrrrr. Something like that just frustrates me to no end, because it implies that he doesn't think I could actually be capable of just eating like a normal, healthy person--it's like, I must either be a fat binger or else a thinner anorexic? Not cool at ALL.

How does one politely alert people to the fact that all comments about their eating habits are 100% inappropriate and unwelcome? This is something I'd really like to know!

Ugh. It gets old. I don't like to eat if i'm not hungry. If snacks are offered i'll politely accept one or two of whatever they are, chew a lot and space out my eating the ones i'm holding so it appears i've eaten more than I let on. Otherwise, bring on the frickin' anorexic comments. Ugh. I am on my feet constantly running around, exercising, going on a walk or a hike, riding my bike to the store, *something* Trust me, I eat. I just eat when i'm freakin' hungry and only until i'm not hungry anymore.

My whole family is very tall and slim, so they were shocked when they saw me after my surgery and I packed on the pounds. Me being thin doesn't phase them. My mom is a staunch organic and whole foods eater (she's a cancer survivor and attributes it to her nutritional diet and fitness) so they have never been the problem.

The friends... acquaintances rather, are a whole other story. Last one that said something rude to me was last night actually. We were all in swimsuits, and I was drinking a TON, and had just eaten grilled chicken and some potato salad. I was not hungry. She's fairly plump and made a fuss about me refusing to drink soda or eat these chocolate peanut butter cookies she made. She made some comment about me being 10 pounds away from looking like a refugee, stick-thin girls aren't 'real women' (wtf does that even mean?) and being a size 0???? Uhm... I might be on the slimmer side of normal, but these boobs don't lie. Natural D's mean I am not starving. Trust me. All of this is being said as she's stuffing probably her tenth cookie in her mouth. This is also one of those women who complains constantly about her weight, eats nothing but crap, won't exercise, and thinks she can comment on everyone else. I just shrugged and gave her a Pillsbury Dough Boy poke to her pot belly and left it at that.

Apparently she got it because she put the rest of her cookies down and didn't say a word to me the rest of the night. Stupid twit.

My family isn't a huge problem for me, about 15 years ago my mom lost over 100lbs. She's been maintaining her weight loss ever since and always cooks/orders healthy meals anyway. My friends are a whole different story.

I have a friend who has been trying to lose weight with me, since we started I've lost 35 lbs and she's gained 5lbs. She is constantly commenting on my food choices. Today we were at a flea market and she ate chips, two hotdogs and a Pepsi. I ate trail mix and strawberries. She mocked me saying I was starving myself, and tomorrow we are going to a bonfire and I won't be eating s'mores or doing Jello shots and she will mock me again...but you know what? In a month I will be about 10lbs lighter, so she can eat her hotdogs and mock away :-)

NishKitten, I just want to say that I love your attitude... I bet you get crap from some people about it, but I hope you never change. You always just seem so kicka**, like you don't give a crap what anyone thinks about you, and I so wish that I could be more like that! Even when I don't agree with you, I still find it so admirable that you're not afraid to speak your mind. Keep on tellin' it like it is, girl!!

NishKitten,that is priceless! I absolutely love your response!

Ugh. I know this thread is old but I found it and today it really struck a nerve with me... my grandmother was driving me crazy! (I love her to death, but still!) We went out to eat for dinner at this fried chicken restaurant and I swear there was nothing that wasn't fried on the menu but like 2 kinds of fish, and I'm not that into fish, overall. So I eventually compromised and got breaded shrimp (pretty ridiculous situation, if you ask me). But I don't eat as much as I used to, and I ate a cup of chicken noodle soup, about half a cup of corn, half a cup of mashed potatoes with gravy, and 5 pieces of breaded shrimp (the littler kind). To me that seems like a good amount of food. But my grandmother wouldn't leave me alone! She kept asking what was wrong with me, what had happened to me, why wasn't I eating, what happened to my appetite, that I was hardly eating at all, and kept bringing it up AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. I kept trying to brush it off and change the subject but she JUST WOULDN'T LET IT GO. It made me want to cry. Why should I get patronized for not eating enough when I'm actually eating the right amount of food? It's not fair! It's none of her business what I do and do not eat.

I have a reputation among my friends for eating a lot. And I'm one of the smaller ones! I am trying to lose my freshman 15, but I am still within my healthy bmi range (at the high end, but still). This get's really frustrating. They act like I'm some kind of pig. "Oh my God, Allison, how can you eat all that?" Or make comments about how I'm always hungry. Despite the fact that I eat a greater volume, I generally eat HEALTHIER. My roommate chugs energy drinks, while I drink diet soda and water. My friends have chips and things for snacks, while I have fruit. Even my MOTHER made some comment about how much I eat. I'm like: I'm NOT FAT! I'm just FATTER than I WANT to be. Sheesh. Drives me crazy.

If I am somewhere special (where I do not go very often) I will eat whatever takes my fancy, regardless of whether it is healthy or not. If I cannot decide between two things, I will go for the healthier one.

Well I wouldn't say I am scared to eat healthy around them, it's just almost impossible.

I attribute my struggles with the way I was raised; my dad is impatient and needy. My parents have always worked 9-5(+), so no one wanted to cook after working all day so we'd go out to eat. Served them better almost to do so, back then we were kids and kids ate free...cha ching! So after MANY years of eating out almost every night, that's the food I LOVE. I can't stand any veggies other than potatoes, green beans, almost any bean, corn and broccoli (but there must be a lil bit of cheese on the broccoli).

I'd love to eat healthier and did eat considerably healthier when I was away at college. However, being in a house of 4 overweight people with little money. Most of the cheaper choices aren't the healthiest choices around. While at college I replaced all the ground beef with ground turkey...worked great for me. I removed all meat out of spaghetti so it was just the yummy sauce and noodles.

BUT no one wants to make things healthier but me! When the $$ is coming out of my dad's pocket what he says goes. I don't drink sodas and haven't for more than 2 years..so I have that going for me I don't like candies, but my vices...YIKES! (KETCHUP!!,hamburgers, hot dogs, fries, chips, sweets)

The hardest thing for me is that, I was taught how to cook the unhealthy food and somehow when is $140 a month on groceries feed a family of 4?? That budget doesn't lend to the healthiest food choices either.
Plus my dad never thinks about having to eat breakfast or lunch..since he goes out for lunch during the week...while the 3 of us are at home..so he thinks $140 for "dinners" is overkill..yeah right...300 meals for a month (for 3 of us)..not just dinner!

Anyone else have those kind of constraints?

I TOTALLY relate to alot of these posts! I feel like, no matter what, my family is always talking about my weight! My whole life I have been surrounded by people who are talking about what you should or should not eat, 'tips on how to lose', etc.(none of them are overweight) I know it all comes from a good place, and they do it b/c they care, but honestly...I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WEIGHT ALL THE TIME. I've done it for 28yrs, I'm sick and tired of it! Especially when it's in public, in a restaurant, etc. I'm sick of 'oh, let's do this together! Call me and we'll go to the gym!' and 'I've noticed youve gained weight, why don't we be phone buddies and talk about how we did on our diets that day?" I know there are people out there that would love this type of support, but I am a very private person and I dont want to constantly be talking about my weight with people in public, and I dont want a gym buddy or a phone buddy, etc!! I know that sounds really negative, but I just hate being constantly bombarded by the subject of my weight! If I go out to dinner with relatives, I just want to enjoy their company, not talk about my weight AGAIN! My fiance's family is the WORST about it! And they are all REALLY OVERWEIGHT! His brother just got gastric bypass surgery and now thinks he is the KING of nutrition and is constantly lecturing me on what I should and should not eat. whew-thats the end of my rant!

I've had a similar experience to some of you guys as well...I weighed about 120/125lbs as a 12-13yr old and starved myself down to about 100...my teachers told my parents they thought I had an eating disorder but my parents never acknowledged it...to this day my mother refuses to believe I had a problem, even though she must have noticed she stopped buying me maxi pads for about 6 months.

You could always try the Miss Manners approach: Put on a shocked expression () and gasp "I can't believe you would comment on something so personal!" or put down your fork, look the person dead in the eye and firmly say, "Thank you for your concern, but my eating habits/food choices are no longer a topic for discussion." Then, quickly change the topic. Repeat as necessary.

Wow, I'd LOVE someone to try either of those and report back how it goes! People usually only keep saying stuff because they don't realize it's rude or they've never been told not too. That should shut some people up!