Hi lisab,
what keeps me motivated is that i know i will be not be happy unless I overcome this problem.
I'm far from my goal in terms of my wieght. But after years and years of starting over and starting over, i had to take a different approach. i put my focus on healing and feeling better. I now get more rest, that was a big one. i quit beating myself up for imperfection in dieting. I quit trying to eat the perfect wieght loss diet and instead experimented with food and suppliments until i found a system of my own that makes me feel better.
what that has turned out to be is more meat (fresh or frozen, store bought and cooked at home, organic when possible), eliminating processed sugar: all sweets, candy, pastries, cookies, muffins, scones, ice cream, shakes, syrupy coffee drinks, cakes, desserts * except the occassional cheesecake, left that in for my sanity
I have since added in raw honey to my tea. honey is sweet, but a natural sweetner and contains minerals and enzymes that enhance health rather than steal from it as processed sugar does.
as i mentioned before, the probiotics. also cod liver oil for omega 3's, Carlsons is a good brand for that. raw walnuts, raw pumpkin seeds, they are good for you and are something i won't binge on and i can add them to salads.
Raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar is a good suppliment. it aids digestion and is good to take between meals. a good vitamin, and a good 'green' suppliment are also part of my routine.
Of course, fresh greens usually as a salad, veggies of all kinds, fruits and berries. Eggs are allowed, real cheese is ok in reasonable amounts, as a snack or in salads or omelettes. Raw unpasturized cheeses are best NO processed cheese food. For salad dressings l like the Annies line and stear towards vinagrettes. they usually don't have the hidden starchy wheat-based ingredients. Either that or make my own dressing with olive oil and basalmic vinegar, a little salt and pepper. Speaking of salt, celtic sea salt is very healing and a good suppliment to add in, especially if you are stressed.
I'll do ~1tsp in a glass of water /day on and off or when feeling stressed.
I also eat alot of avocados in my salads. i don't even worry about the fat or calories, i just chop a whole one in there. they are so rich no dressing is required.
Ok that's a little more wordy than i intended
basically, what i think will work for alot of carboholics is to eliminate simple carbs or cut back drastically, eat less whole grains too.
then work on rebuilding good bacteria in the GI tract via supplements.
one other thing, cut out soda. diet or otherwise. BAD for the digestion and no nutrition at all. ditto for coffee, although this is my weakness and i do have it on occasion. i drink good old h2o and i drink teas. green and herbal mostly with no added flavors other than my raw honey.
i hope that is helpful and you are not alone, my eating habits were just like yours and at times still are, i'm far from perfect and this has been a long uphill struggle. but i'm finally finding what works and feeling healthy and not deprived.
I just had to get away from the all or nothing diet to loose weight mentality and just focus on feeling better. No sence in starting an exercise program if i don't have the energy to do it. being overwieght impacts my problems, but i know it is not my only problem. i had to address the other reasons i was not feeling my best first.
Just don't give up. keep trying and don't overlook the small changes you will make. small changes are better than no changes and over time have a big impact.
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you've never done. When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better."