hi all,
i lurk and just needed to find support. my sweet kind wonderful mother sent me a cake for my birthday in the mail. she wrapped it so lovingly and wanted me to have something home made with love for my 31st birthday. which is so nice and amazing. but i cried when i got it b/c i knew that if i kept it it would set me up for a binge.
so i threw it out. and i just feel awful. lied to my mom and told her i had a piece and it was so good and thank you so much. but really i threw it in the garbage. i couldn't even give it away or wait til tomorrow and take it to work b/c i was scared of what i would do. i have gotten cookies from her beforehand and i always tell myself to have one or two and put the rest away. but that is never the case. so i just told myself this time to just throw it out. its OK.
but it feels wrong. i feel so abnormal that i can't keep an f-ing cake from my mom for my birthday in my apartment. and i hate that.
so i am open to people's thoughts on the matter. it just sucks sometimes.