One of the greatest bands of all time...THE BEATLES....had a hit song...ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

I don't think anyone would argue with me that LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER by CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE is definitely in ALL of our Top 10's

And who can forget MUSKRAT LOVE....another CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE "classic"

LOVE

Is it really ALL we need ~ does it really keep us together ~ and do we really wanna love a muskrat....I dunno....we don't have them here in southern California...not even sure what a muskrat is.

Here is my dilemma....

We all know football season is over for the most part....baseball is a few weeks away from spring training...LAKERS are the only basketball team worth watching.....which leads up to nothing to talk about at lunch with 8 construction guys....

so we share our troubles and struggles

a young man in our mix is looking to "go for" a girl....thinking it is time for him to get serious and stop fooling around. Looking to us for advice he brings up the question....."How do you know if she is the right one....how do you know if you really love her....is love enough to get married over?"


Now between the 7 of us guys left to answer the young man's questions we probably have about 12 ex-wives....so experts we are!

The answers varied and we only have a 30 minute lunch but the Cliff Notes version was this....

3 of 7 say ....never get married again!

3 of 7 say....love is enough!

1 of 7 said....I think it is possible to love just about anybody. Love is an action not a feeling. I think it is more important to like someone....enjoy being with them when you are not on date night I told the group that I met several women that I may have been able to fall in love with over time but geographically....financially...and children/ex-husband situations kept me from pursuing the relationships. I felt that there was too much "baggage" from both of our situations.....being divorced and all.

The group told me I wasn't "fair".....that I should have re-married for love alone....

They asked me why I married Angie....I told them "because she had a van that would carry our 3 children"

What do you think?

IS LOVE ENOUGH?

And none of you follow hockey? NHL has lots more to go. And as I have learned over 10yrs marriage. Its easier to figure out hockey than to figure out marriage/love.

Not much ya gotta know about a puck JULIA....

now about us men...

we are delicate creatures

A little bit of forebearance never hurt.

On a more serious note ... I just plain like John. There's nobody else I'd rather spend time with.

I really, truly, honestly do not believe that love is enough to get you through. It's enough to get you going, but love isn't what carries you through the rough parts, where you sort of want to strangle eachother, or when external circumstances start pulling you apart.

What I DO believe is enough to get you through is 100% commitment to making things work from both of you. And I think it's hard to build that sort of commitment WITHOUT starting from a place of love. So love is necessary, but not sufficient, to have a long-lasting, successful partnership...it CAN drive you to make a strong commitment, but it doesn't HAVE to.

No. Love is not enough. You may find in the end that everything you did for someone was an act of love, but to make you continually do it is something else... work. Compromise. Devotion. Commitment. Faith. These are the words the come to mind. You do them in the name of love, I think. But all are necessary. I hope that makes sense.

On a side note, I walked down the aisle to the Beatles "All You Need is Love" played by a string quartet. I sang the whole way

Exactly what Amanda said.

Don't get me wrong, love is very important, but it's not everything. Even when everything's wonderful, relationships are hard work. I think both of you have to put in a lot of time and effort into a relationship for it to work and this has to be from day one of the relationship, not from the time things start getting rough. It's totally about being committed both to each other and to making the relationship work..

Love is essential, but it's only one essential element out of several that you need to make things work. It's basically the starting point...

Whoever said "Love is an action, not a feeling" must have never really loved anyone. I CHOOSE to perform actions; walking, tying my shoes, bathing, etc....I don't CHOOSE to love someone, I just do....or I don't. Does anyone else feel that way?

However, I do agree that "sometimes love just ain't enough".

i think love is a motivater if any thing...

it motivates you to communicate and to trust and to stick together when times get tough. Compromise, Devotion, Commitment, and Faith are all motivated by love.

I dont think loves i ALL you need, but i know that you wont get anywhere without it.

I think love is enough.. with a strong and abiding love, everything else seems to fall in place. about 2.5 years ago my family had a horrible event (wont give too much info) but without the love and support from my husband i dont know if i could have survived it.
we have been married almost 5 years.. we had that horrible family thing, severe money probs, moved countrys, i gained weight, the stresses we have endured have been gigantic... but... we are closer than ever.. we have Never fought or argued even tho we have had all this happen... and when 'life' seems to be too much for me, a hug, an i love you from my husband, his shoulder for support, etc.. gets me thru it all...
knowing he loves me 'unconditionally' gives me a power of sorts.. not over him, but just hmmm how to explain lol... kinda like.. i must be one heck of a valuable woman for someone as loving and wonderful as ian to love me so much.. so when others try to bring me down, hurt me, etc...they cant cut as deep cause of the love i share with my husband.. not sure if this makes sense.. prob not lol.. its 8am and im on my first cuppa lol

what is it with wonderful guys who happened to be anmed ian? lol! That is my fiance's name.. and anytime i hear something about an ian, its never bad.

aware- funny, i hadnt thought about it, but he is the First 'ian' i have ever known.. must be somethin about the name lol

Was having a chat with my co-workers yesterday, several of which are Indian and have arranged marriages. We were talking about the differences between arranged and "western" marriages. The point was made that though the Indians may meet their mates as strangers, they trust in the people who arranged the marriages for them and they learn to grow together as they fall in love. While not all arranged marriages last, most do. Whereas Western couples meet, go ga ga over each other, marry and then fall "out of love". An interesting point I thought...

Being in a very long term relationship myself - I'd have to say that it takes more than love to get you through. Love will help you through the good times, but's it's the committment to stay together and work things through the bad times that matters most because if you look back, your relationship and your feelings ebb and flow as you go through life together.

As for you Gary - all I can say is that guys appear to look at marriage completely different than women do

I firmly beleive that love is a choice. Feelings mislead you. But for long term endurance after hurts and disappointments you can either choose to continue love, grow from the experience together & forgive...or you can choose to let your heart rule by hurt feelings and be crushed. But what good can come from that? To many people quit after the gaga feeling is over. They deprive themselves of the deeper love that can grow out of forgiveness. The unconditional love.

See I'm more of a Captain and Teneille fan myself.

My boyfriend and I have been through a lot and I do mean a lot of things that many other people would've let break them apart, but we kept going because we knew we loved each other and we just had to find a way to work through the issues.

I love him more today than I felt in a while, it took a lot of faith, a lot of patience, and a lot of time, but I wouldn't change it for the world. We are strong and love kept us together