Alterna-K8 finds herself in the impossible position of looking for an Oscars dress under the following conditions:

1. Alterna-K8 is 49 years old

2. Alterna-K8 is a size 14

3. Alterna-K8 has a budget of $200 (more or less)

With February looming, so is my familiar Oscar predicament. My hub is a voting member of the Academy, and so we usually attend the awards (from the balcony nosebleed seats where the "regular" academy member sit!)

Thus my rant about AWFUL PLUS SIZE CLOTHES!!

Alterna-K8 is NOT:

1. A clown.

2. Mother of the bride.

3. 20 years old

4. 80 years old

5. A bordello girl in the 1800's (scratchy black lace over awful shiny red or royal blue polyester, oh....that fails.) WTF!!!

BUT WAIT!!! When I DO find something not-gross I can stomach like this:

http://www.alight.com/10372792.html

Then they don't have any more size 14's!!

Rant-off.....

You're on the small size for the places I shop, but how about:

http://ullapopken.com/crepe-goddess-.../91282/cn/229/

(I'm sure that others may have other options)

Buy a size 16 and have it altered. You could probably just have the seams taken in up the sides on a dress like that. It is a gorgeous dress, and looks like it would be a good foundation article for a number of events. It could be dressed up or down according to your accessories.

Try BHExpress Ebay Store. I got a gorgeous dress for 43.00 that was 168.00 at Dilliards. I have a couple military formal events to attend every year and This is my favorite place to find a dress.

First of all, congratulations on going to the Oscars! That sounds like fun.

Anyway, I could be misreading here, but it sounds like you are *only* looking in plus-size stores. Being a size 14, there are options pretty much everywhere, and I think we all know that unfortunately for bigger girls, the smaller stores tend to have much cuter clothes. That was a really cute black dress that you linked to, and I don't see why you wouldn't be able to find similar ones in a 14 in department stores, Ann Taylor, whatever.

Good luck! And congrats!

Thanks for the input everybody! I never thought of having the 16 altered. That's an idea although I wonder how much it would cost?

Well I'm not having any luck with the misses dept either because they just make slightly bigger versions of skinny girl dresses. I'm a 38 C and not a spring chick, and I find all the misses formals make it hard to wear any kind of supportive bra and are cut too bare for me.

And the "mature" sections of the dept. store are soooo mother of the bride like the leopard print chiffon with a JACKET type formals!

Also I'm very hip-py (also a hippy but talking about my actual hips LOL) and find the 14s in the W section fit better, and the regular 14's zip but are tight. The regular 16s aren't tight but way too big on top.

Maybe I'm just at an awkward "inbetween" stage, like teenagers except...OLD! LOL....

Anyway, it is very hard on body and soul to try on 50 dresses and look like crap 50 times in a row. It's like getting beat up in the Bloomingdales dressing room, LOL. I'm surprised I'm not black and blue!

You get to go to the Oscars?? Whoa, cool. What does your husband do?

I was looking at your link: is that Hot Lips Wrap Dress an option?

Well, hub is an animator. Although they focus on the celebs, 80% of the audience are just like sound guys, makeup people, costume, or whatever...only the people down front are famous!

It's a big deal to the hub so I act like I'm excited about it but honestly I was in heaven last year when my teenage daughter (now away at college, damn!) took my place and I could watch in my jammies on the couch.

The most fun part is walking in on the red carpet, and hanging in the lobby before hand. They want the non-famous people inside EARLY so they bribe them with killer food and wine, I'M EASILY BRIBED AND THERE BY 3:30! Wolfgang Puck himself walks around serving the yummies and the wine is so good. Little starlet types refill your glass every two sips.

Then you can watch on the TV's inside as the celebs get interviewed, then they walk right in the door! I never approach any celebs (nobody does really) but my daughter last year walked up to George Clooney while he was waiting for his then-gf to come out of the bathroom and told him she liked "Michael Clayton!" He was super nice! She said, "Hi I'm Hayley" and he said "Hi Hayley I'm George" and she goes "well I knew that already!" LOL....that's my girl! I would NEVER!

Anyhow what happens is: by the time the FOUR HOUR BORE FEST starts, I've already seen all the clothes, had way too much food & wine, am in uncomfy clothes and underclothes and kind of "is it done yet?" for the rest of the time.

I like the Hot Lips Dress but I think on me it would look like ALotta Hips Dress.

Ooh I put in a bid for the purple one here:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...:B:BCA:US:1123

It's a little youngish for me but I think if I had it altered and sort of ironed-out....well I only bid $20 so if I get it for THAT, I will def be able to budget in major alterations, evening wrap, or whatever!

Sorry you're having problems. But THANK YOU for the websites. I'm so over Woman Within & these sites have some great clothes!

OMG I LOVE that purple dress. I myself am also a hippy (in the peace & love sense) and that dress is great.

I can't wait to be able to wear dresses......

Oh I am so excited...lol The last dress I got from there was a Betsy and Adam it look like this on black and silver http://www.houseofbrides.com/product...at=1254&page=3 shipping and all was 43.00 I just sold it to a girl for 50.00 on Craig's list

OK, K8-EEE, I don't know where you get these things I saw demo-ed on Rachel Ray, but I will bet one of these enterprising young alternachicks knows. Come to think of it, her website may show them. They are these clear plastic sticky thingies that go on top of your boobs and will raise them up to 2 inches. They would be perfect for that dress.

You have fun playing grown up for all of us, girl! It sound like so much fun.

i know its a little late, but promgirl.com has a lot of cute dresses that go to extended sizes. dont be disuaded. there is cute stuff there all the time despite the name of the site.. lol