I have been struggling at work with performance issues, really detail oriented stuff and got written up yesterday with a last chance type write up. I have ADHD and have struggled my whole life with detail oriented things. I've done all I can to stay on-top of things short of a prefrontal cortex transplant (that part doesn't work right in folks with ADHD) and take daily meds for it. I've gotten great at using my day planner, email reminders to check my schedule every day, several times a day. I'm trying my hardest but it might be a little too little, too late.
I told my bf last night about this. Freaking out, panicked and worrying...near tears. His response? "Don't worry about it! You think the worst about everything!" True. I tend to catastrophize everything. I developed that as a coping skill as a child in an abusive family. If you immediately run your brain to the end of what is the worst that can happen, you are prepared if it does OR if it doesn't...you're relieved. But I can't just NOT worry!!
I'm polishing up my resume today and plan on hitting the bricks next week to apply for new jobs.
I'm soooo close to grabbing my keys and hitting McDonald's for the BIG breakfast. I woke up last night in an panic thinking about the potential for being fired in this economy. I ate 6 banana muffins slathered in butter. I didn't feel better! I felt disgusted AND still panicked about my job.
I just want some kind words, a strong arm around my shoulders, a hug...good friend type stuff.