Hi,

I have been trying to lose the pounds I've gained since my boyfriend and I started dating for several months now, and I've only gained more. I can eat around 2200-2300 calories to maintain (from personal experience) and yet I still manage to eat over that. I feel so frustrated with myself. If I could just stick to 1700 a day, I could lose weight. And yet, I never seem to be able to do it. Part of the problem is that I have no support from my boyfriend/other friends and family. My boyfriend likes the extra curves I've got now, and doesn't see any need for me to lose weight. But, I feel most comfortable in the 115-120 range and I was maintaining there fine until we started dating.

My clothes aren't fitting right; I'm close to having to buy a new wardrobe in a larger size if I don't stop the weight gain. I just want to get back to where I was 8 months ago.

I guess I don't know where to begin. How do I stay on track when I have no one encouraging me because no one else thinks I should bother trying to lose weight? I feel like I've tried so many times in the past few months to do this alone and every time I've failed.

Tonight, I ate about 1.5 cups of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, along with half a box of wheat thins. I don't really binge; I just enjoy food and keep eating because it tastes good. I don't know if that makes sense. I stop if I start feeling too full, but I've found that there's a big calorie difference between how much I can eat without getting sick and how much I can eat without gaining weight (I don't know if that made sense).

So, does anyone have words of encouragement/tough love to get me moving?

I usually walk about 10-15 miles a week. I also do about 3 hour long aerobics classes a week at my gym. But, I'm trying to do a couple more classes a week because I really like it and I know it will help me reach my goals.

I know I need to be the one to take off the weight. At this point, it's for vanity (and cheapness!) and I can't expect everyone around me to understand. It does sound kind of harsh, but it's what I need to hear! I need to get my butt in gear and stop making excuses!

Madeline - first of all, welcome to 3FC! this is a great place to get support when you aren't getting any at home.

you will hear this a lot on this sight - we didn't gain this weight over night. it takes time to lose. and hard work.

get the foods you tend to over eat out of the house and buy some lower calorie snacks or things that are easier to portion control. eat lots of fruits and veggies and drink water. and exercise!

you might want to check out the Featherweights section for more advice.

good luck

Have you ever thought about strength training? I'm a cardio junky, but when I was struggling to lose 10 pounds I began strength training. I actually didn't lose any weight, but I went down a pants size and looked probably the best I ever have.

Just a thought

Yeah, I know I should do some weight lifting. But, I'm definitely a cardio junkie! I've seen lots of people mention the New Rules of Lifting for Women. Is that a good resource to start with. My bf is an avid weightlifter and he tried to show me some basic exercises to do, but I didn't stick with it. Is the New Rules book too hard for someone who's never really done any real weightlifting before?

Thanks so much everyone for all your advice and encouragement! I just logged a food plan for tomorrow. I seem to do the best at sticking to a healthy diet when I plan it out ahead of time.

haha, yeah, I can always come up with a great (or not so great...) reason not to stay on track. And when the Ben and Jerry's ice cream is calling...it's hard to say no. I need to work on that!

Planning is a big factor in helping me stay on plan.

NRLW I think is for beginners to advanced, but I'm not sure. We have a devoted group of chickies here and there's tons of info in the exercise section of the forum.

I do a lot of work with free wights, my body weight (pilates!!!) and resistance bands. I know pilates is great for creating a leaner look, which may help you shrink

Also, since you're into cardio, what about Interval work? Lots of people have had success with that too! I do it mostly on the elliptical.

Sorry to ask so many questions, but is there a book that you used to create a plan. We've used the resistance bands in some of my exercise classes and I really like them. I was thinking about getting one or two for my apartment. But I don't know how to come up with a good plan for what to do. I think that's why I like the exercise classes so much; I like being told what to do!

I guess I'll go on over to the exercise forum. Thanks again!

These are the bands that I use:
http://www.amazon.com/GoFit-Ultimate...3209529&sr=8-4

They actually come with a dvd, which I don't use. Most of the "moves" I use were shown to me by a trainer at my gym and YouTube I LOVE the exercise ball and have used it for years. I've just picked up stuff along the way, I guess.

If you can swing it, it sounds like you may benefit from meeting with a trainer? I got into a major funk a while back and my routine was just... blah. I met with a trainer for a few sessions and it really helped. But I hear ya on the classes!