katiejames, you're learning a lot!
And you have more to learn. This is a good thing!
Your goal is unrealistic, in my opinion, because losing weight that fast can't be done in a healthy way. I'm sure you'd rather not hurt your health while losing weight. I would aim for 2 pounds a week, set your calorie goal for that amount (a tool like FitDay or many of the other Web tools can help you do this), and see how it comes out. Bodies are really complex, and just because you can think it doesn't always mean that's how it will come out.
Second, you say you "can't" commit to behavioral goals like working out three times a week. Many of us have thought the same way! We all have very busy lives, many with big families with young children plus jobs, and it seemed impossible. But, come to find out, it is not, as long as you put your own weight loss first on the list.
I would encourage you to sit down and think about how much time you could spend on exercise every week. It might be 30 minutes a day, an hour a day, four hours a week, whatever. But that time is there--you'll find it if you look for it--and some of the things you're now spending time on, you can set aside for now.
So here's a suggestion for your minigoal: 8 pounds lost in January, and exercising for 30 minutes 3 times a week.
Think about what you
can do instead of what you
can't do...
Jay