Jenguin,
I will "ditto" everything midwife advises. You are very right about this being a decision he must come to himself. There are some delicious and satiating ways to prepare foods that I am sure your husband would embrace if he gave it a chance.
I do all the cooking in my home so I have great control over what goes into the meals. My hubby eats whatever I throw together. He does not and never has had a weight problem. Last night I made spaghetti (prepared w/turkey) with a green salad. We had water (as opposed to wine) and no bread. My children are pickier. I keep assuring myself I am leading by example and they will get to the point of enjoying salads and the like.
I think you are headed the right direction with your hubby. If I was trying to get a larger hubby to get healthier I think I would start paying more "sexy" attention to him and maybe even purchase a couple of things for him he would NEVER purchase for himself--something kind of bold and sexy you know--a stylish peacoat or whatever. I would try to make him feel comfortable and not threatened in any way. In a few weeks start working on what a sexy guy he would be a few pounds lighter. I am not sure how I would word it to him but you get my point.
I notice your weight has really dropped from where you are. My guess is that this is a somewhat scary time for him. My husband is happy but he mentioned the other day there are days he feels insecure now. WTH? Men. Go figure!