Hi, I'm new & having a tough time!

  • I've yo-yo'd my whole life and the times I lost weight I never got on the scale. Sure it was nice to fit into the small jeans, but I just never could handle the scale........now I'm heavier than I've ever been in my life and had to get on just to see the number. After being turned down for bariactric surgery because of a heart condition I put on another 7lbs! Now I'm trying again, this time with Opti-fast shakes, Lean Cuisine (I need serious portion control!) and prayer.
    My husband drinks a lot, and our social scene always involves drinking. So I can't do that and I know that's good but I'm lonely. I just want to feel like a human being (and a woman) again. I'm glad I found this site - thanks to all of you for sharing because it REALLY helps new people like me. If I ever reach my goal I think coming to a place like this would definately help me maintain it, something I've never been able to do, why is that?


  • For me, the reason I was never able to maintain a loss, was that I "dieted". I changed my eating for a specific period of time, achieved my goal (or gave up) and went back to the way I ate before - which of course had very consequential and predictable results - I regained the weight. It often took me a long time - as much as 10 years to gain it back, but I did.

    This time around, I learned (through the fabulous posters here at 3FC) that I had to make changes that I could do for the rest of my life. Thus, no diet - no restricted foods - just good ol' calorie counting, exercise and devotions (I used a book called Faithfully Fit)

    You CAN do this! It will take some time, and some effort, and some prayer.

    Come back here often - this is a wonderful community and you will find a lot of support, wisdom and just plain old fun around here
  • Wow! thanks!
    You look terrific!! thanks so much, your photos are amazing, don't you feel sooooo good? I will get there somehow, you're advice was great
  • Hi Lynnemarie and welcome to 3FC! We all know where your coming from. We're right there with you. I know you will find this site really helpful in helping you lose and maintain. A great group of people here. So stick around, keep posting and never give up.
  • Quote: You look terrific!! thanks so much, your photos are amazing, don't you feel sooooo good? I will get there somehow, you're advice was great
    Thank you!
    For so long, I assumed that being fat was just the way God wanted me to be - after all - I was over 50 - and don't most people gain weight as they get older?

    I agree - you WILL get there - but it won't be "somehow". Start with some specific - small - sustainable changes. When you have mastered those, add another one. Just keep repeating that cycle. It will take planning. It will take trial and error. It will be a roller coaster with ups and downs - highs and lows - but - we are here for you - and you definitely CAN do this!!!
  • I feel the same way. I am so scared of the scale right now. I finally got on it this morning after avoiding it for a month. I am frightened of 200.

    I have basically given up trying to lose weight for the past few months.
    I just keep feeling like a loser every time i quit a diet/exercise program after 3 days.

    A big part of my problem involves drinking as well. I love dark chocolate and red wine. I can't imagine giving them up for longer than a week. But i have discovered those are the very things i need to give up most in order to lose weight. I can't just have 1 glass and 1 square no matter how hard i try.

    So i keep holding off dieting, thinking that i will eventually get the initiative to give it a real try... so far, no initiative.

    That's why i have come to this site. I am trying to find the initiative to lose weight. I know how to lose it, i just can't make myself do it.
  • Boy do I know the effects of yoyo dieting so well. Even when I was at my smallest 145, I was always on a diet. That got me to 237 pounds. Wow, 145 sure looks good now. I've learned that I can't diet. I had to make a lifestyle change. Now I try to make good food choices and exercise everyday. If I mess up, then tomorrow I get back on track.

    I was a big drinker for years (that didn't help with my weight either) I cut out alcohol for almost a year and about a month ago I decided to have a couple of drinks while out with friends. I felt so ill the next day that I have no desire to drink any more.


  • You came to the right place, we all understand how difficult dieting can be. And most of us have experience with yo-yo dieting. It can be very stressful, but having a group of friends that understand exactly what you are going through is extremely helpful! You can do this! Post as much as possible, it REALLY helps me! And writing before you 'binge' sometimes makes you not even want to eat anymore.

  • Quote: I've yo-yo'd my whole life ... If I ever reach my goal I think coming to a place like this would definately help me maintain it, something I've never been able to do, why is that?
    Lynnemarie, Would you mind telling us why you think you haven't been able to maintain weight loss?

    I'm a yo-yo too, and i know for me, i would just quit being a healthy eater once i got down to a small size. Like, i would start eating sweets and then get those carb cravings and i wouldn't resist, i would just go back for seconds.

    I remember weighing about 115 lbs and over Thanksgiving break, i gained 8 lbs. That was how my weight gain started. I would just keep getting banana pudding and all those other goodies that aren't really good for me.

    And when i weighed 115, and was barely active my body only needed about 1200 calories. It was so easy to gain weight at that metabolic rate. The weight just snowballed after that. I've gained 80 lbs since that Thanksgiving, only 2 yrs ago.

    But now that i have realized what went wrong for me, i hope to be able to do it right this time.

    There is a lot of talk on this site about how it takes a lifestyle change and not just a diet to lose weight for good. They are right.
  • I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I want to wish you luck in your weight loss . Losing weight is a hard thing to do when everything in your life is great. So when you are having a difficult day or month it seem impossible. I know I have been hungry all evening. But when I got on this site that seemed to go away. So maybe this site can be help for the both of us. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!