going2Bhealthy - I hope you feel better.

just got done with a video. i really had to drag my bloated, non-moving arse out of bed to do this one. i'm in sort of a funk, gang and need some words o'wisdom before it gets any worse. i'm steadily watching the scale creep back up as well. i think i need to avoid it. it said 138.8 this morning.

this is my first semester of grad school and it ain't goin so hot. it's just not what i thought it would be and i'm not the student i thought i would be. i've turned in all my assignments at the last minute and haven't given it my all. well, a prof noticed and sent me an email sunday that basically said "you are performing under the level i expect in a grad student." she didn't sugar coat it or anything. it was pretty harsh. my response? emotional eating. meh. even though i know everything in the book that says that's bad and why that's what i did.

this november thread should be renamed the kelly komplainer thread. please, if anyone has good news to share, feel free to lighten things up.

I'm sorry that things aren't working out for you . I wish I had nice advice to give you but I don't, really. You aren't going to feel any better if you go on like this, though. The only thing you can do is give the past a good shove and start fresh. But you have to be ready to do that.



I haven't been doing very well either, myself. Today I've eaten chocolate, and yesterday I didn't exercise. And I honestly cannot be bothered. I've been hurt this week, more than I've been in a long time. I'll explain the entire story below a line of whine & moan, so that you can skip it if you don't want to read more negative stuff .

Stuff explained below makes me want to cry and eat, rinse and repeat. And I thought I had put that whole emotional eating thing behind me for the most part. Apparently I was wrong. I really feel for you, Ollie . You're in a hard spot and I hope things are going to be better for you soon.


Whine--------Line of Whine & Moan--------------Moan

OK, there was this friend of mine and I have liked him for a few months. There was definitely some chemistry but nothing happened all the time. So this Sunday, I thought: you know what, I'm just going to tell him that I like him. So I sent him an email. Soon he called me back to say that he liked me too and that he'd like to come over to talk about it. This is what we did and well you can guess how it ended up... you probably don't want any more details. This was Sunday night. Monday I was in kind of a glow, I was so happy because I thought it was finally all going to work out for me. Then, Monday evening, he called and said something was wrong and that he had to come over. He told me that he didn't like me as much as he thought he did - yes, as a friend, but not as a lover. He did not feel good about what happened last night. In short, he didn't want to continue. He was incredibly sorry about it too, but what does that help me? I just wish he'd have thought of this, like, 24 hours before he did. I'm devastated. I've been crying all evening and now I'm starting again. I really don't know what to do any more. I just want a normal, nice person who likes me too - is that really so much to ask?

Ollie - I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. Maybe take a moment and meditate. Tell yourself you don't need food to feel comfort. And if you still feel down, I'm here most of the time. Being unemployed now gives me an insane amount of free time.

Elwing - I'm sorry about what happened with you and your friend. I actually had a similar situation happen a few years ago. My friend told me he wasn't ready for a relationship after we had a fun night, but then turned around and got into a serious relationship with another person. Then every time he'd get out of a relationship, he'd call me and tell me how awesome I was and wanted to "hang out." I would decline, and he'd go off and get into another relationship. It was a vicious cycle. I knew when he didn't have a girlfriend because he would start taking interest in me again. I couldn't take it, so I stopped talking to him. OK, so it wasn't similar to your situation, but I know how you feel. I hope everything turns out for the better.

thanks elwing and robot. i do feel a tad bit better today. maybe cause i actually exercised and did okay with food? funny how that works. still don't feel the greatest about school but i have two papers to write before the end of the semester and all i can do is do my best, right?

elwing - can't say that i haven't been there. was this guy a really good friend or an acquaintance?

Yes - if you do your best and it doesn't work out, well, there's nothing else you can do, right?

Thanks for your reactions ^^. I hope he doesn't turn around to be that kind of jerk, Robot. We called again today and he is really very sorry about what happened, he just couldn't stop apologizing. Also, I heard from a mutual friend that he called his mother for 4 hours after talking to me, it was that hard on him. So, it did not turn out for good, but at least I picked a decent guy this time? It just wasn't meant to be. Oh well. I already feel a lot less ****ty, hope it will be back to normal soon. And he was a pretty good friend... we've known each other for years and are also in this sorority-kind of thing where we meet every two weeks or so. That's going to be so much fun next time. Not. Oh well, I'll get over it, I'll just need to, I guess?

sending superlative supersonic sympathetic salutations thru the ether..........!! never forget you rock and you are loved!!

:sigh: I'm feeling a bit down today. I was cleaning my closest and decided to try a few things on. First of them was my prom dress. It completely slides off my chest and there's much space in the chest/upper body area. It isn't tight around my waist anymore either. But when I moved on to other things I wore on occasion, I felt huge. It makes me think, how could I have worn them when I was 30lbs heavier? I don't know if it's just my psychological mind talking, or if I really do look like this. I just wish things would progress faster. I can tell in my tummy (YOU CAN SEE MY BELLY BUTTON!) is shrinking and my skin is getting flabby, and, best of all, my boobs are getting smaller too. But in my mind, these differences don't mean anything - I still say "you're still overweight". How can I knock this attitude?

In January I am joining a 24-7 gym near me. Since my work schedule is hectic and never the same, I can go in whenever. Plus they have a pool, sauna, and jacuzzi! So after a nice work out, I can relax. It's worth the 70$/per month. But that's almost a month away. I'm anxious and it's killing me.

I wish I were happy with my weight loss every day. I wish I didn't flip-flop between attitudes. I know I'm doing good, but I want to feel like that everyday. -endrant-

elwing - well, i bet something good came out of it right? and i'm sure you guys can maintain your friend status. i've been through the same situation. it's doable.

jan - thanks, man.

wormwood - we need a cup of cheer the **** up, huh? i can relate. i flip flop between attitudes, too. especially lately. and the clothes. i have an entire pile of pants waiting to go to vietnam vets that just fall off of me, so there is physical tangible evidence there that i have lost weight, but here lately i don't feel like it. i mean, i don't feel like i look like i've lost 30 pounds. i feel the same. and me gaining a few pounds and basically being the same weight i was at the beginning of the solstice challenge doesn't help. needless to say, i'm in a funk, too. maybe we should do something to unfunk ourselves?

dudes! Seriously guys like that arent worth worrying over, take the silver lining at least you got laid right? sorry to be crude, but sometimes you just have to shrug it off and take it for what it was.

as for committing, write it out, write it OUT. put something heavy and screamy on (bleeding through or something) and write out all the reasons why you need to kick some butt right now in all aspects of your life!
i love you guys!

Dudes! Its December! Get out of the November chat thread...its soooo last month. Theres a new thing happening, its called December!