Guilt

  • I've lost 13 pounds... I have two pounds to go before I reach my short term goal.

    Whenever I start to lose weight things go fine for the first month or so... then my weight loss slows down considerably. I am so close to my short term goal but I don't know if it'll happen.

    I have been cast in two movies in the next year. Ironically in both of them I play a Vampire. Well, Vampires are supposed to be sexy and beautiful. So, I am trying hard to be sexy and beautiful by the time I have to shoot for these two films. (next spring, summer.) And I'm also going to Europe next Summer and trying to slim down for that.

    Friday night my Mom showed up with my two brothers and wanted to take us all out. She is depressed right now, so she does this some times. SO then came a night of Pizza and Beer, and since I went out with her I missed my workout ofr that night.

    I don't know how exactly to sum up the point of this post... I just feel pressure to be thin and I feel like I am slacking off and I just feel really guilty at the moment.
  • Instead of focusing on being thin, focus on being healthy... that is what works for me. I try to eat more fruits/veggies, and exercise 5 days a week because it is improving my quality of life. Yes, most people want to be thin, and I am one of them, but that is not my FOCUS... as far as the guilt goes, I understand that too. You just have to decide that you won't make choices that will lead to guilt, and then start over! Everyday is a new beginning, another chance to start over. ;-) xoxoxo
  • Unless they said something about your weight, I'd assume they cast you are you are. They have a character in mind for you to play the way you are. Now, If you want to start eating healthy and exercising for your health, that would be good. You just have to prepare for the next time your Mom gets sad and wants to go to the restaurant. Have something different?
  • ^Well, in all honesty having something different wasn't an option. She took us to a Pizza place and she already had dinner ordered when she picked me up. I realize now shouldn't have felt so guilty last night when I made this post. I ate two peaces and I picked out two small peaces on purpose. And I drank Mic Ultra which is 90 calories a bottle.

    And yes, the two directors who cast me already know what I look like. Both have met me in person. They cast me at this size so why should I let it stress me out?