tmignemi2:Are you on any kind of exercise schedule? I find that with a good vitamin/mineral supplement and enough exercise, I don't miss meds. Go three days without the supplements or a week without the exercise and I'm down in the dumps again!

OTOH, one of my mom's girlfriends wouldn't give up meds for anything.

K: I'm glad that the trip to the dentist wasn't as severe as you feared. Yes, I love fall colors! Autumn in my part of Texas isn't very colorful at all, but I greet it gladly since the 100F days stop and I can go back outside. For color down here, I look forward to spring wildflowers!

Sassy: Good for you for recognizing "the beginning of the end." I totally did not see it coming for me and thought (until I came to work weeping uncontrollably) that I was relatively happy in my job. I wish you fantastic fortune in your career search!

Everyone in general: It occured to me that I forgot to give a general update for today. Yesterday was mostly yummy. Sunny and cool and I walked to the store and got my veggies, came home and started filling the house with delicious aromas. I haven't tasted it yet, though. I've got too many leftovers yet to finish off, so I'll probably get my first taste tomorrow. (Much of what I made is to be frozen for future meals.)

I was evacuated from my apartment shortly after that and spent an hour or so with other tenants at the apartment complex next door. A water main burst the other day and the guys who were fixing it busted a gas pipe. We had the fire department out and the police were blocking off traffic and everything! I even saw news helicopters.

When they let us back, I put on a Harry Potter movie and worked on my Li'l T doll. This is a doll made to look like me... well close anyway... when I was little. (My therapist gave me the idea to get a doll to represent my inner child, and I wanted it to look like I did, but no dolls do.) The idea (and I may have mentioned it before) is to direct positive self talk and caring responses to the doll, which represents me.

I think it adds something special that I completed her on my birthday!

Ok, time for lunch, then more homework. (Biology, yay.

I just started walking today. I walked briskly for 25 minutes - i'll gradually increase that over the next few weeks and then it's time to head back to the gym.

for you getting out on that walk!

momof4- i dont' know what to tell you but i really hope things get better!

tmignemi - welcome!

buddly - glad the dentist went well and you got to spend time with your mom. I'm excited for the holidays when I'll get to have some "girl time" with my mom!

sassy - yey, i love your new avatar!

tera - what are you studying? I was a biology major.

i'm heavily caffeinated this morning so I think i'll be good at least for a few hours. I'm feeling pretty positive despite the stress that is looming. I hope I cna keep my cool as deadlines get closer!

Hey, Iris. This week is on photosynthesis. My brain locks up when I'm introduced to a lot of terms, and this is one of those.

That and the labs are all "virtual" working through a book with a slideshow presentation for the experiments. They can be hard to follow at times, considering I'm not a big science/math type.

I got through my textbook ok. Found a movie on google that helped, but now I'm on blackman's experiments and not sure what answers my lab is looking for... but that might be just me over-thinking it.

Hi Girls

.

Hi, Leenie!

*lurking

Tera - I just noticed that your location says that you're from Dallas/Fort Worth...my parents live in Arlington and my sister lives in Mansfield.

Hey, then we're practically neighbors! How is it that you're all the way up in the frozen north?

We're all originally from up here, they moved down there last year.

I'm originally from Portland, Oregon. Mom took a job down here and, being single, I eventually followed her down.

Momof4: I really worry about you most everytime I read your posts. I really think you need a break and some help at home from your husband. Is giving up home-schooling completely out of the question? How about a christian school? I know your faith is important and a christian school would be in line with what you are probably teaching. That would give your kids what they need and give you some time to yourself. If your husband won't go for that then let him try it. I can't believe how unsympathetic he seems to be, I don't know him of course. After all, he chose to have these kids as well and he needs to put in his time AT HOME. Did you ever make that chore chart?

Well after work tomorrow I'm off for 4 days! I CAN'T WAIT!! I really need some time to myself. The weather here is so nice and cool. It feels like fall.

I took my first test for my tax class yesterday. I passed and I'm glad it's over.

Hi to everybody. I need to get to bed so I can get up at 5am.

Wow ok I hope that I remember everything I want to reply to...
Yes I have tried talking to my husband on several occasions about it. I have asked about time out or something and he just replys to when do i get time out....I completely understand he works at work and works at home...but I cannot get away from it....so when I do talk to him he just gets defensive turns it to him and when does he get time....so i just drop the subject
I laughed about throwing the food...Like if they dont fight over the food they fight over which bowl I give them. Also there is sooo many of them that I cant constantly stop them and correct them. Like my 4 yr old will be whinning throwing a fit that he wanted a different bowl...my 2 yr old screaming and crying at me because she wants something NOW that I cant get right that minute...and my 1 year old crying cause she is ready to eat and just wants her food. Like I understand what they mean bout girls cause my boys NEVER EVER demanded or screamed at me when I told them to wait a minute till mommy could get it. I don't know what to do. Like I am trying a different punishment methods and trying to be calmer...but sometimes I cant I just want to scream. I am trying to discipline them instead of punishing them. The difference is discipline corrects what they are doing and teaches them the proper way...punishment just sometimes makes them madder....yes they need punishment sometimes but most of the time punishment is done out of emotion from us.Sassy- you didn't make me mad at all...I completely understand both sides thats why I have a hard time..because he works no less than 45 hours a week usually close to 50...then the youth pastor job takes time to....so i dont know how to fix this because he is exhausted.
I did get my chore chart finished but its been hard to go by it the last few days I am not sure why...Maybe because I have felt so helpless and down in the dumps that I dont have the energy to do it.
Like I guess this is where the depression stuff comes in...because I know what i need to do for most of this but I cant get myself to do it...like I need to be consistant keep the kids busy...like if you change what they are doing every 30mins-45mins it keeps them busy and out of trouble but if I have things I have to get done and let them go then they are tearing down my curtains, taking my cushions off the couch, destroying the blinds in the play room, dumping out all the toys, splashing water every where, tearing thru my cupboards, dumping cereal on my clean floor, taking all my cans off my shelves.....Just NON STOP..(I know you think I have terrors...I promise you its not because i dont correct them because I do its because I am out numbered too!!!)..I have for the last two tuesdays taken them to the play section in the mall to get them and me out...because I can listen to music and relax while they are playing....
I found a lot lately I have been throwing on my IPOD because I cant handle the noise, the screaming, the temper tantrums, the whinning...I just cant handle it....Which the bad part is that I am not dealing with it I am avoiding it...I NEED NANNY 911...LOL
Counseling is not really in the question my husband wont go..so....I dont know...I have to sched. appt with dr so maybe I can up my wellbutrin...
ANYONE ELSE ON WELLBUTRIN??? When they upped it did you feel more energy or not much of a change??? I have tried to stay as low as possible to be able to get off it quicker but I dont know anymore. I think I can stop most of my stress if I had the energy to stay a step ahead of them....
I would love to send them to a christian school but i cant afford it we had enrolled our foster daughter then pulled her out cause we figured it out and there was just no way to do it... unless I work...I want to work but I dont want the kids to have to be with someone else either...like maybe one day a week but like I had the kids so I SHOULD be the one raising them...I dont know i just dont know!!Like if I usually have waterbottles filled but sometimes I cant find them...but have drinks ready before they ask...keep them doing different things so they dont get bored and get into stuff...make them clean up one item before they go to the next activity...but ALL THIS TAKES ALOT OF ENERGY THAT I DONT HAVE....some days I barely want to get up I only get up because they baby is up or the kids are up. I dont get up before the kids like I really should be doing....I just dont want to wake up....
Wow now that I wrote all this I am about in tears cause i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel or does the tunnel just go further down in the the ground and there is no light on the other side????

I am sorry i haven't done personals I used to do them almost every day and now i hardly do it i just dont have it in me....

MeA (AMARIE)- Where are you I miss you...

Oh PS...Thank you guys for caring cause if I didnt have this to come to I am not sure what I would do...be crazy crazy....

I am going to look into gym memberships because just maybe I can escape to that a few nights a week because I have stuff here but its like i try and try to do it and they need something or someone calls and all kinds of stuff...I am just scared to death to be the fat girl going into the gym all by myself...I might be able to get my friend to go but then I will feel stupid because I am so outta shape...I dont know it will have to take a lot of thought...I do some mystery shops and they each make like 10 dollars & they reimburse you for 5 you spend. But if I didnt 3 or 4 shops a month that would pay for my membership...ok well I was just thinking on here..LOL