Hi girls. This is the first time I've visited the boards in weeks. I am SO touched that you guys were worried about me. So much has been happening.
If you recall, I had been trying to lose weight before I went and saw my DH. Well, now that is only a week away. I'm still down 5 pounds since he left, but I had been down 13. Here's what happened... I did it all. I journaled, I drank the water, I exercised, I stayed between 1400-1600 calories a day. I checked over my journal entries just to make sure that I was honest to god on track, and not fooling myself. I was doing everything just as I was supposed to. So then I stopped losing. I didn't give up. I figured it was water weight or something. Then, the next week I gained a pound. I didn't give up. I figured I must be building muscle and losing inches. Then the next week I gained 2 pounds. At this point I was furious. I measured myself, and the only place I lost an inch was in my chest. I figured if I was gonna gain weight, than I was going to eat what I wanted to eat. I haven't gone back to my old ways of eating, but I'm not OP either.
I guess I'm sick of my weight ruling my life. I'm constantly obsessed by it, whether it be how much I'm gaining, or how much I'm losing. I'm a size 16/18. That's what I am. There's nothing wrong with that, though the fashion world would have me think otherwise. If they don't like it, they can cram it.
Not to mention, I've just had so many other things happening in my life right now that I don't have the time to obsess about myself anymore. I'm one exhausted mama.
I'm flying out in 1 week to see my DH....FINALLY!! I'm dissapointed that I won't look better, but quite frankly, after 10 weeks of not gettin' any I'd look good to him if I showed up in a bathrobe and curlers.
Thanks so much to all of you for caring. I hope you're all doing well. I probably won't be back in here at least until I get back from the trip.
Talk at ya later,
Jen