I haven't felt sexy for years. When I was thin, I was around and open to people who preyed on me, which was one of the factors in getting fat. I developed a real connection between sex and food. (I'd like a kiss from someone who loves be but can't have one so I'll have a Hershey's kiss, etc.)
I have worked on healing and taking care of myself and protecting myself in ways that make me feel safer about losing weight and opening up to my sexual side. I'm sure I'll have some more lessons along the way, but it's time to move forward even though I'm scared.
I need some advice on how to connect with my sexuality as I lose weight. I've been wondering things like, "How thin is thin enough to feel sexy?" and "At what point does it become OK to flirt and not assume I'm too fat?" and "What if I attract attention that makes me uncomfortable and I feel the desire to get fat again? How do I ward that off?" and "Once my belly is gone, my boobs will be more noticable. How will I handle that?" and "What if I open up to the sexual feelings and am completely overwhelmed by them?" My chosen boundaries for intercourse is to have it only with someone who demonstrates he cares about me as a whole person and who is in a monogamous relationship with me. I'm still developing boundaries for other sexual behavior, such as kissing and touching.
Tips? Skills? Things you've encountered, lessons you've learned? Ways to cope? Books? Exercises?