Alright, been struggling really hard mentally for the past month or so , so am going to get this all down and see if I can get any help on straightening myself out. Been working out since November and have lost almost 80 pounds... at first of course it came off easily and I was more or less following my diet plan ( that i posted somewhere earlier, about a month ago in excersice) but then when i hit my plateau at 60/70 I got off... I figured the numbers not moving I must eat less... that didn't help so I added more excersice and all that did was REALLY wipe me out and a stern lecture from my friend/trainer that I've known a while. She ( and the others at the gym agree) that I need to eat MORE... I can't do it. Honestly, I have tried to but it feels so wrong. What I've done to compensate is instead of adding more protien and carbs in each of the 6 meals she says i should be having, is run to wendys or burger king for a grilled chicken sandwich (which is about 650 cal.) so now my new diet is a cup of oatmeal and maybe a apple or banana, or raisin bran and skim milk for breakfast, BK or such for lunch because im at work and figuring it'll make up for the 3 meals im skipping, and then a homemade chicken sandwich (about 200cal.) or something from the diet plan ( which averages 200 cal.- chkn sndwch is what i usually choose) for dinner... but sometimes I skip eating... like yesterday I did "pump" which is an all body weightlifting class at the gym @ 5am, got a flat tire there and so stayed till 9am and did the cycling class then was at work at 11 ( though i did grab a chicken and veggie wrap from subway) but was wondering why during a dental I felt like I was foggy headed... I even almost dropped my half of the dog on the way to recovery!
I know it's not healthy but I don't know how to stop now... About a month ago I "forgot" and went two days with nothing and excersicing like I usually do and fell over at home and now have a scar up my arm where I hit the end table. I don't know how to fix this, I feel horribly guilty if I eat and know I SHOULD but I can't... everytime I try and talk to Jess ( my trainer and friend) I get a lecture almost and I dont think she really knows what im going through... yeah she used to be "heavy" she was 180lbs, now she's 180 of all muscle and does body competitions but she wasn't ever REALLY big you know? I'm just scared that it's all going to come back and all this time is going to be wasted. help.