My parents were the opposite. My mom got very mad when I moved out and she said that children should live with their parents in their 20s or until they got married. Since I really had no plans/thoughts of getting married, I wasn't buying that. She did have some good arguments on finances and how you can be an adult despite living with your family. Although we are of a slightly different culture where you often see multiple generations living in the same household.

I personally don't think it makes you less of an adult to live with your parents. What I think makes you less of an adult is if you live with whoever and don't carry your weight. If you are paying rent, paying for expenses, doing chores, saving money, etc, then how are you more of an adult by living by yourself or someone other than your parents?

I have a relative who lived 'on his own' but was constantly in financial trouble due to his own bad decisions and immaturity. I would consider many people who live at home much more than an adult than him.

The assumption is that it's cheaper to live with your parents, isn't it? Because you'll be paying less? Otherwise, why do it? I don't like to sound cynical, but that is the idea...

Most over-55 communities have rules against under-55 children moving in with parents--unless it's a case of disability or illness--to prevent kids from deciding to come home and live with Mom & Dad. Such as, newly divorced people in their 30s with children... Let's go help Grandma... Oh sure... But I digress...

I was actually quite hurt when my Mom said no. It took a few years to realize it was a good thing. I kinda had to pull myself together...

Jay

I think it's great that you have a "home" to move back to with your parents. I never had that as an option as my parents were deceased by the time I would have needed some temporary help.

I have always let my kids and step-kids know that our home is open to them if they need us. I'd much rather they move home if things got unbearable for them finacially than to let them sink and then ask for help. My one exception has been my oldest SD that never has paid her bills, wastes all her money and then just expects to have a revolving door at our house. A couple times getting burned by her and we had to finally say "NO". Especially cause each time she moved back "home" she was pregnant again.

My 22yr. old son technically lives at "home". He is currently stationed in Iraq. I don't worry that he won't have a place to live when he gets back. I am saving his money for him so he can put a large downpayment on his own home.

I relate to never having a home to go back to! Mine weren't deceased, they just weren't there at all. I've been on my own since I was in my middle teens, and so I don't know what its like to have familial support. What a luxury it seems to be to have that as an option!

Soulbliss, I moved out on my own at the age of 17. I never regretted it, but I did live through some very tough financial times (especially while I was in college and again as a newly single mom).

I recently read an article about the increase of adult children still living or moving back home with their parents. It's recently boomed. And these are people in their 30's and 40's as well. I have a few friends who do and my mom has a few friends her age who have their adult kids living with them. I personally couldn't do it, because I LOVE the privacy and everything else that comes along with living alone, but I spend nearly $900 a month on my apartment and related bills (electricity, internet, water). If I lived with them 5 years (and my dad already said any of us can come back home and not pay rent or bills), I could save $54,000!!! That'd be a great down payment on a house, although I would probably take time off work and travel.

With today's economy I think we will be seeing much more of this...

foreclosures....lack of jobs.....

parents growing older, living longer but maybe not being able to totally care for themselves.....I think divorce will rise again with the finacial stress many will be facing....leading adults/kids back home.

I think each case is different of course.....some blew the chance....some got dealt a bad hand....it's a hard knock life!

People need help from time to time.....

My grandma needed help....my mom moved to live with her and help her...then she needed help to help my grandma...my sister and bil went to help them...now 5 years later my grandma and mom have both passed on...my sis and bil are living with their daughter and sil to help them out financially....nobody planned it that way.

It would be great if that help was always 2-sided and healthy!

Good luck to you BORNTOFLY! I hope it all works out for the best for you and your family

I think when I moved out, it was the right decision for me. Everyone does have to make the decision for themselves.

Just because it is more expensive to live by yourself than with your family, doesn't mean it makes you more of an adult to spend more money. Actually doesn't seem smart Although what amazes me more are people that buy huge houses for just 2 (or 3 or 4) people. Of course I grew up in an 800 sq ft home and my grandparents home that once housed 9 people is only slightly bigger than that.

My first apartment was modest sized in a modest area and it cost over $900/month. I should've looked for a roommate but housing in the area where I worked as expensive. I had a friend who lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with 4 other people and she paid $300/month for just rent. (all girls, 3 twin beds in 1 room, 2 in the other).

Anyway, that was when I moved back in with my parents to try to regroup and figure out what to do with my expenses to make the best of my income.

I don't think anyone should feel ashamed for moving back in with his/her parents, particularly if you're pitching in and not just freeloading (I know plenty of people who do the latter, and it drives me insane). I do tend to agree with JayEll, though, that it's far better to try to make it on your own. My mother would take any of her kids in, even though she doesn't have a lot of money and she lives in a very small house, but none of her four kids have ever come back since we were 17 or 18. I'm not saying I never would, but it would certainly be my absolute last resort. I'm just a big believer in being on your own once you're an adult. I think my mother taught us that while still making it known that we were welcome home if we needed to return. Some of this is generational, too, I think. I'm 36, and I find that people my age and older tend not to think of it as an option, while younger people seem to always know they can go back home. Though I think it can work, I think this trend is a little dangerous in terms of building responsibility and character. There are exceptions, certainly, where people can make it work and it's great, but as an overall trend it's a little scary.

It is quite common in other countries and I think in the US, the trend to be 'on your own' is even fairly new. When money/jobs were good and housing was fairly inexpensive, it was fairly easy to move out on your own. I also think consumerism plays a part in now that we acquire so much stuff, that the basics really aren't basics anymore. There is also the trend towards larger housing and going in major debt that plays into the part of rising house costs beyond what is reasonable for most people.

If someone moves in with their parents to be a freeloader, that is quite alarming and I think no matter what the culture, they would agree with that.

I had a friend who lived very simply in an inexpensive apartment by herself and I was amazed that she basically owned nothing more than a couch, a bed, a tv and some clothes. She saved money for herself, but sent a large portion of her income back to her family. She ended up moving and living with one of her close relatives because she moved to an expensive area and couldn't justify the money on rent when a close relative lived near her new job. She was from a different culture though but I was majorly impressed by the fact that she didn't think of her income as her own but her family's.

Amen to that. So many young (well, really all ages) people today (certainly not all!) buy iPods, cameras, CDs, game systems, alcohol, eat out multiple times every week, etc, and can't even imagine public transportation / bicycles. They live with all those things, and complain about being broke and borrow money.

I own an iPod, buy a lot of music, and like to eat out and love good wine.

But I take public transportation

I have all of those things (and drink and go out) and I have never borrowed money or been broke (and I also save). And I don't make loads of money either. I do okay, but I would say it's about average for my age for my area. I even went through a health crisis earlier this year and didn't lose my car or my apt and didn't have to sell anything after having no income at all for 4 months (I used my savings). But I will say, I wouldn't live the lifestyle I do if I couldn't afford it and was always broke or have to borrow from people. I have a few friends who enjoy similar lifestyles and are also not broke and can afford it. And then I know some people (mostly family members) who live beyond their means and live paycheck to paycheck because they spend any extra money they have on 'luxury' things. So, they are some responsible/financially savvy people out there who can enjoy those things and not be broke all the time. And they're are some who can't.

Don't worry about moving back home, I know alot of people that are doing that. It is better than putting yourself into credit ****. If I could sell my house and get something out of it I would and move back home to stay with my dad and save money. It hard to go back home, because you think that you failed but you haven't. You are trying to do the right thing for you and not being irresponable and let things get the best of you. Just remeber any person that is going to judge you based upon who you live with and not understanding the reasons behind it, is not worth knowing, even when it comes to guys.

Thanks for all the kind words everyone. I'm still struggling with this. I don't know anyone my age who lives at home. I could prob swing a 500 a month payment INCLUDING all utilites, but I wouldn't be able to save a dime and I wouldn't be able to have anything but the bare min. including cable and internet. If I move home I can save, and hopefully sometime in the near future put a down payment down on a home.

I do plan on paying my parents rent, I've paid rent since I was 19. I wouldn't feel right if I didn't give them something. I just feel bad, bc in almost 30 years, it would of been the first time my parents would of had a house to themselves. I also feel like at my age, I am taking a step back by doing this, but I'm hoping it will help me more in the future. It's just something I have to keep telling myself, bc it's just not something I'm use to.