SMART ARSE ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during a flight on Alaska Airlines.

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.

"What are my choices?" John asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.




SMART ARSE ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub."






SMART ARSE ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."






SMART ARSE ANSWER #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window.

"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.






SMART ARSE ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.

A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead."

Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under
the bridge.

Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up.

The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on
his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."












SMART ARSE ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.




"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-*** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student,
shakes her head and sweetly says,

"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

that last one was great

These are great!

I LOVED! all the jokes and I LOVED! all the posts and wondered at ate great losses and how you are doing it? My scale doesn't move for me or if it does, it's back in 2 days.

Hi Liz -

I've had success with calorie counting and exercise. There's a more long and drawn out version here

Maybe a little more detail of what you are doing and we could trouble shoot? How long have you been stuck? It looks like you lost 10 pounds according to your profile.

OMG!! Major BURN on the last one!!! lmao!!!!!