So... I'm posting this to share more than anything else... I had a really random memory return to me all of a sudden today. I have NO IDEA what brought this long-forgotten incident to mind, but...
I think I must have been around 4 years old at the time, or at least too young to be in school yet. My parents would often bring me to this lake about 45 mins from our house during the summer, because I loved loved loved to swim. From as early as I can remember, I was always a little on the pudgy side when compared with other girls my age, but at the time I don't think I was all that concerned with how I looked in a bathing suit. And I wasn't SO fat that I was an oddity or anything -- I just looked plumper than the other kids.
Anyway, this one day we went up to the lake and during our time there, I made friends with another girl around my age, though I think she could have been a year or two older. We played throughout the day and I was having a pretty good time. Then at one point, I left the girl for a little bit to eat something with my parents and after I ate, i went to find my new friend. I found her and went up to see if she wanted to go swimming again and she turned to me and said: "I don't want to play with you anymore; you're fat."
... on my goodness. I can't BELIEVE that happened to my little 4-year-old self! Now that I remember it, I remember it like yesterday; I felt DEVESTATED and as silly as it might sound, I had that same feeling of devestation yesterday when this incident came back to me.
I know kids could be cruel and blah blah but my goodness... what a terrible memory. We were having fun all day; all of a sudden I was a piece of crappola bc I was "fat"? I know that at some point when I was around that age, I began considering myself a hideous beast (and I've felt that way ever since). I wonder whether this incident had anything to do with that?
Not to open old scars, but maybe it's good to share these kinds of incidents. A lot of times, esp. in my own experiences, I tried to forget about the incident as soon as possible, whenever something like that happened, eating myself into oblivion and assuming the awful comment was CORRECT and that I DESERVED to feel so low. Maybe sharing these kinds of experiences is a good thing? Anyone have any such stories they're willing to share?
I have a few, but I digress... this was one I really had forgotten.