Hi there, I saw that you're from Arkansas. I'm from Arkansas but moved to Cali 3 1/2 months ago. First, let me say losing that much when you live in the south is an accomplishment in itself. Gotta love all that southern cooking.
As I reading your post and then everyone elses, I felt overwhelmed with compassion for you. I know how you feel, maybe not in weight because I haven't lost a whole lot but in other things. My mindset has always been, if only. I would do this or be happier if only. For example, things will be better when I get the cord to my ipod so I can listen in the car, I get it and then I'm like "oh that's good, but now I want better music", so I download all this music on there, and it doesn't make me feel any better. This type of thing happens to me all the time. I'm finally to the point that I can't live my life with the "if only" mind set. If I live like that, then I will never enjoy the moment now.
Yes, you are having a hard time, but look what you've done. You recognize that you are having a rough time, and you reach out for help. I think that's amazing and it shows how brave you are. You could have just kept spiraling and never said anything and just withdrew, but you didn't!
You are brave and courageous. You know yourself better than anyone. Is there something going on in your life or even in your mind that you thought that if only I can lose 60 lbs I would be happy? If that's the case, then maybe that is why you don't care what you are eating because you had a goal for how you would be feeling emotionally and it's not the case.
Here is my suggestion, I know it may sound funny, but this really helps me. Write a list of 100 things that you are thankful for. I know it sounds like a lot, but just write it. It can be anything. I'm thankful that the sun is shining. I'm thankful I have a bed. I'm thankful that I have a car. I'm thankful I didn't eat that piece of cake. Whatever it is just write it down. I really think that after you write those things, you'll see that there is a lot to be thankful for and you can live now instead of living tomorrow. I hope this make sense. Let me know how it goes.
Heather